10 Bits of Wisdom from Instagram’s Most Hilarious Makeup Artist

Makeup artists are full of advice: change your foundation with the seasons, use primer, moisturize, blah blah blah. Even the most talented beauty experts can get a little dull and repetitive. But Lyle Reimer is different. Reimer oozes creativity out of every perfectly-concealed pore. He not only puts the “art” in “makeup artist,” he’s also one of the funniest people on Instagram. A quick scroll through his feed and you’ll be both inspired and chortling.

With subtle references to fashion news and runways, and looks that show off his impressive skills, Reimer’s Instagram page is 100% pure fun. So naturally, when he doles out wisdom, it’s a lot more out of the box than you’re average beauty blogger. Here are 10 solid bits of advice from Reimer, that he sends as brilliant captions to his amazing photos.

1. “When life gives you a lump of coal… Contour with it!”

2. “Never cheap out on beauty products. Just because you can purchase hair relaxer from the same place you can buy wood glue, finishing nails and tile grout… Don’t!”

3. “In the event of an emergency; Stop, Drop, and Roll up the perfect shade of lipstick (one that will enhance your features and minimize terror).”

4. “There are certain times during allergy season when you have to take a more aggressive approach to scratch those hard to reach places.”

5. “In the high stakes world of Strip Poker, defeat can only be remedied with sodium drenched trans fats and a hot shower!”

6. “The burning sting goes away; the humiliation of requesting the elderly woman to pee on your foot does not!!!”

7. “Spring: A time for fresh starts, new beginnings and getting rid of under garments that fail to hug, hold and support.”

8. “Mental note: never buy Latisse from a guy in the alley. #lashesgonewild”

9. “2 things you can never have enough of: Gin and Blue Eyeshadow!”

10. “Anna knows best!”

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