Fragrance reviews are silly, but sometimes, fragrance marketing is even sillier. What do “playful pastimes” and “nostalgia” really smell like? So from now on, we’ll be crowdsourcing our own fragrance reviews. Read on to find out what our office thought about the latest sample to land on our desk. This week, we’re sniffing Dries Van Noten par Frédéric Malle.
Fragrance: Dries Van Noten par Frédéric Malle, $185-265.
What Frédéric Malle thinks it smells like: “Dries Van Noten par Frédéric Malle is a modern, oriental fragrance reminiscent of classic perfumes fused with the world of Dries Van Noten. The scent incorporates notes of sandalwood, vanilla, patchouli, musk, bergamot, and jasmine, giving it a timeless trait of the great perfumes.”
What we think it smells like:
- “Masculine, like a couture locker room.”
- “Like someone tried to synthesize Nick Offerman-style manliness but didn’t quite get it. No mustaches will be grown while wearing this perfume.”
- “Like I went to a tropical resort with a fraternity.”
- “New car.”
- “Fruity alcohol.”
- “A spice rack.”
- “A daisy drenched in Tobasco.”
- “Fresh Pope.”
- “A nursing home cottage in the middle of the woods. A woodland creature leads you there and everyone is called Meemaw and Peepaw.”
- “An explosion in a powder room.”
- “An antiquated bed and breakfast.”
- “Being punched in the face by man made out of baby powder.”
- “Baby powder.”
Check out our previous Name That Scent stories.