If I were a less vain person, I would post a closeup of my teeth and note that Lohan’s teeth look kinda just like average (okay, fine, maybe a bit below average), unbleached, non-celebrity teeth.
But, for better or for worse, she is a celebrity. And thus: we hold her teeth to a higher, whiter, cleaner, more impossibly perfect standard. And in that case, these teeth are definitely rotting. Here’s what her publicist had to say about Tooth(Teeth?)Gate™.
“Lindsay is widely acknowledged as one of the most stunning actresses of her day, and we get requests every week wanting to do photo shoots with her from top photographers. She’s been on the cover of Vanity Fair and the top beauty and fashion magazines. She’s a beautiful and glamorous actress.
“With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I’m going to comment on Lindsay’s teeth.”
She has indeed appeared on the cover of these magazines!
That said, her teeth still look like this: