I Have My Mom’s Old Nose, And It’s Not Awkward At All

I have my mom’s old nose, and it’s not awkward. At all.

Today Jezebel published a piece positing that if and when the allegedly pregnant Megan Fox has a baby girl, her daughter will be all kinds of damaged because her mom had a nose job. Writes Dodai Stewart:

It’s curious to me, because I wonder if you can tell your daughter that she is beautiful and lovely — and mean it — if she has the old nose that you hated. Or, if you can, do you realize what you’re saying? You’re saying that your old nose, the one you had sliced open, destroyed and rebuilt by a doctor, is actually not that bad.

And consider this: Little girls always think that their mother is the prettiest lady on the planet. What if you think your mom is gorgeous, and you know she’s had a nose job? Will you think that, in order to be pretty like her, you need one too? Or what if you’re a little girl and you don’t know your mommy has had a nose job, you just know she’s pretty — do you start wondering why you’re not as pretty as she is? Why her nose is so slender and sleek while yours is wide? Do you start to think, very quietly and secretly to yourself, that you must be ugly, even if your mommy says otherwise?

My mom had a nose job when she was in high school. She didn’t like her nose, and when she broke it as a teen, it seemed like a good time to change something she had never liked about herself. This is something I grew up knowing. I’ve seen pictures of my mom before and after, as well as wonderfully retro ’70s photos of her with her similarly bandaged friends, who had chosen to get their noses done that same summer. A few years later, her younger sister also had hers done.

I always knew that plastic surgery was an option for me, if I so chose, but I didn’t. Yes, my mom has a “better” nose than I do, and that’s just fine. Do I think my mother means it when she tells me I’m pretty, even though I have her old nose? Yes, I do. Have I ever thought I needed to get my nose done in order to be as attractive as my mom? Nope, it’s just not my thing. More importantly, her having a surgically-altered nose has had little to no impact on me. And I’m not alone.

A friend of mine told me that the fact that her mother has had “more plastic surgeries than I can count” has simply made her “finely attuned to the elective surgery of others”. “I’m really good at noticing who’s had what done — like it should be on my resume,” she explained. “But it’s just not for me. I like my face.”

Another friend said she didn’t get her nose done, even though her mom had, because she didn’t inherit her mom’s pronounced probiscis: “But I dont think theres anything wrong with it. I sort of feel like if you can do something to make yourself feel more confident, and it won’t hurt you, then why not? There are obviously limits, but I definitely understand why my mom wanted to get one.”

And what about those who do get their noses done, just like their mothers did? One friend underwent a nose job when she was 16, but says it had nothing to do with the fact that her mom had done the same thing decades before. “I didn’t pay attention to noses until after I got one,” she said. “I just knew I had a big one compared to everyone else, but it wasn’t because my mom had a great nose. I really dont think young girls think like that.” She did tell me that her aunts and grandmother had all gotten rhinoplasties, and that she’s glad her mom suggested it when it became clear she (my friend, that is) wasn’t happy with her nose.

Stewart ends her piece by quoting a 2009 Rolling Stone interview in which Fox admitted to being insecure, and commenting on it as such:

It’s pretty clear that her old nose is far from the only problem; “fixing” her nose doesn’t “fix” deeper issues. Maybe having a baby and seeing her old nose will shed some light on that, and she can commit herself to making sure her daughter doesn’t suffer the same insecurities, seeing as how no child is born with an inferiority complex or a sense of self-loathing.

Getting plastic surgery isn’t necessarily a sign of “deeper issues”, and beautiful people (whether they were born that way or were surgically enhanced) are allowed to be just as insecure as the rest of us. Moreover, a mother having plastic surgery does not mean her daughter will develop an inferiority complex — and that I can say with absolute certainty.

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