Guys, maybe Kate Winslet wasn’t Photoshopped on her Vogue cover. Maybe it was just makeup, because holy shit, that is some powerful stuff. Just check out this photo posted by makeup artist Melissa Murphy on Reddit that demonstrates the incredible transforming power of cosmetics.
But since this is the internet, angry male commenters are positively outraged that this woman would lie to them by wearing makeup.
According to particularly disapproving Redditor plokoonismyfave, women who wear makeup are the equivalent of men who wear prosthetic muscles under a long-sleeved shirt à la Superman costumes, because that is definitely a thing that normal humans do on a daily basis. The same user sparked the debate with this nugget of wisdom:
“The girl in the photo is apparently not satisfied with the way she looks without makeup and uses makeup to artificially portray a person more people would find attractive.”
“I think it is deceitful, men go for looks, and for most looks are an important aspect of your potential partner.”
cinnamon-swirl thinks the level of deceit is so high that wearing a certain amount of makeup should be deemed a criminal offense:
“Looks like two completely different people. It’s amazing what makeup can do. Personally I think that this level of makeup should not be allowed, because it dramatically deceives.”
And another gem we couldn’t let slip into the archives:
“Women get up every day, and one of the first things they do before they even leave the house is put on a face that lies to the world. The majority of women even refuse to be seen in public without their liar’s face on. And they claim men are deceptive…ha!”
But — surprise! — men only prefer your natural beauty if it aligns with the image on the right. The irony is summed up in this delightful comment by user cjc23:
“Really not trying to sound mean here, but I was always against makeup until I saw this photo. I always preferred natural beauty, even with some imperfections (who doesn’t have them), But that is literally a photo that goes from “No” to “Hello”.
Moral of the story: You can’t win. If you wear makeup you’re a deceitful whore, and if you don’t you can forget about getting any action.
Do you think this woman should be locked up for her crimes against the male sex? Should preventative measures involve blasting all women in the face with a fire hose before they leave the house? Or should we just go back to life now?