If there’s one thing your life needs, it’s more James Franco, and Etsy demonstrates how to deepen your relationship with the sleepy Renaissance man with endless rows of accessories. Because why should we limit his ownership of every cultural domain when he so obviously needs to have a say in what we look like? Instead of hiding your fascination, wear it proudly with the locket, the canvas tote, or some pot leaf bike shorts that celebrate the bro-tastic love between he and Seth Rogan. If a shirt covered in his own selfies is cool enough for James Franco to wear, then it’s definitely cool enough for you. In it, you demonstrate the power of Franco times infinity.
Here are the 9 best accessories on offer organized from a subtle hint of Franco to all day every day, 127 hours of Franco.
1. James Franco Follows Me Silver Pendant Necklace with Turquoise Bead Chain, $15.00 at Etsy
Francosim is a religion. Wear this, keep him close to your heart, and know that he is your keeper.
2. James Franco Earrings – Sleepy Mountain Studs, $9 at Etsy
Here’s another sly way to keep his royal Pineapple Express highness with you. (Reveal his face at your discretion.)
3. Happy Panda Select Totebag – James Franco Book Club, $14.99 at Etsy
There is no more to life than James Franco. Beyond Franco’s eleven stories, there is nothing. Go back to school with a weathered copy of his book Palo Alto inside, because that’s how ambitious you are with this book bag. It tells everyone, I’ve read the tale of a sociopathic bad boy shaking things up at the YMCA water-ski camp so many times that the camp sends me patches of honor. Any syllabus next to Franconian lit is a joke. If you don’t make friends, it’s fine, they just don’t get you or this bag.
4. James Franco Stretch Stretchy Ring, $9.75 at Etsy
At this point you’re practically engaged to this genius, so you might as well have something to show for it.
5. James Franco Nail Decals Transfers, $6 at Etsy
Wearing these nail decals of James Franco’s mug means with every handshake, high-five and exchange of small bills, you’re passing along the explosive power of his winning smile and perv mustache.
6. Hell Yeah James Franco – Heather Grey sweatshirt $29.99, at Etsy
Walk the most dangerous streets at all hours in this and no one would dare mess with you.
7. Seth Rogen Best Buds Bike Shorts, $45 at Etsy
If there’s one thing that summer sportswear needs, it’s Franco having a bromance while smoking on top of your thighs.
8. James Franco Crush Tee, $55 at Etsy
He’s a part of you now, and where you go, all his varying states of mind go from the corn rows to his side-eye. You are all one. It’s like he’d share his last jug of water with you if you were trapped in his mansion in a This Is The End situation, and he’d ask you to dance to the Backstreet Boys in heaven.
9. James Franco Cotton Blend Fashion T-Shirt, $12.99 at Etsy
This cable-knit is a classic, and look at that face. If as a new professor, he was his own student with this look, he’d fall in love with himself all over again.