The Most Important Trends of Summer 2014 In Review

summerrecap(1)

Technically, this circus of summer fashion is over. This year, fashion got more comfortable, it got a little cliché, and it definitely got weird. Soon your crop top, your sportswear bottoms and your pool slides will no longer fly. (That stuff is all fun and games until November when someone gets frostbite.) Unfortunately, you have to wear real clothes now. But let’s reflect before we do. You might think it’s best to bury the facekini deep in your subconscious, but it’s really better just to let all your feelings out. We cannot move on to wearing flannels (not just tied around your waist,) until first, we remember.

Welcome to Styleite’s recap of summer trends, in which we revisit the recent summer trendlets that happened for better or for worse. These trends will be burned into your brain whether you want them there or not. So happy Labor Day, ya filthy animals. Let’s start with facekinis.

1. The Facekini

Style Description: An anti-sun witness protection program mask to be paired with a couture bathing suit

Subtext of Wearing One: I can afford to stay at an expensive summer place in the South of France, but let’s not get too wild because youth preservation is key

The Cost: Facial recognition, pigment
facekini640

2. Distressed Jorts

Style Description: denim jean shorts either rolled or just fraying everywhere, a few sizes too small, with a minimum of five holes

Subtext of Wearing These: Minimalist fashion is so my thing.

Cost: That depends because they’re too beat up to pass inspection at Goodwill, but at boutiques, prices rise along with the level of damage.
denim2

3. Skimpy Sportswear

Style Description: Saturated colors, streetwear, boob cages, basketball shorts, jerseys, bike shorts, logos, numbers, etc.

Subtext of Wearing These: I don’t actually sweat in this shit. I’ll leave the effort to people who buy pricey workout peplums.

Cost: It’s vintage.
iggy

4. Floral Flower Beards

Style Description: A beard strewn with a floral arrangement that looks like Queen Titania’s crown

Subtext of Wearing These: My girlfriend will be home from work soon, and I’d better wake up and freshen my beard.

Cost: Dignity
facialfloral

5. adidas Pool Slides with Socks

Style Description: Unisex sportswear classic Adilette with tube or ankle socks, providing cushy comfort for models and dads in the hood

Subtext of Wearing These: I DGAF

Cost: Height, fanciness

poolslide

6. Iridescent Flatforms

Style Description: chunky pair of elevated summer shoes that are disco-fied

Subtext of Wearing These: I stay…dressed…to impress

Cost: Only like a ligament or two

flatforms2

7. Crop Tops

Style Description: the halved midriff-flasher, and the most popular trendlet of summer

Subtext of Wearing One: I’m unapologetically loving my summer life.

Cost: your ability to perform cartwheels when you score tickets to your favorite concert

crop

8. Mirror Sunglasses

Style Description: Sunglasses with reflective lenses

Subtext of Wearing One: I’m throwing some shade, but I want people to see me.

Cost: Being mistaken for every fashion blogger ever

Eskimo

9. Lightweight Pajama Pants-Pants

Style Description: Slouchy patterned tie-at-the-waist pj panatlons that double as bottoms for adult people during the day

Subtext of Wearing One: My nebulous job can’t be that serious.

Cost: falling asleep at inopportune moments

pajama

10. See-through clothes

Style Description: sheer translucent bold long skirts with solid minis underneath, lacy tops worn with modest solid full coverage bras

Subtext of Wearing One: I’d rather be in L.A. right now.

Cost: Privacy of some private parts

meshskirt

11. Haute sneakers

Style Description: beaded, rubbery or skate sneakers beautiful enough to sneak into the couture party because they know someone

Subtext of Wearing One: I just don’t take myself or these overpriced shoes that seriously.

Cost: Access to anything but the athletic elevator at most private clubs

Sneaker2

Related Links:
Carine Roitfeld Is Trying to Make Facekinis Happen

Best of Glastonbury: Jazzy De Lisser’s Eskimo Cape
We Have Reached Peak Distressed Denim and Need to Back the F*ck Down

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