Have you been feeling alone recently? Are your friends ignoring your texts? Don’t worry, it’s not because of your personality. It’s because of your lack of suitable neckwear. Summer is the season for woolen accessories, after all! So what are you waiting for? Get out your credit card and order one (or all!) of these scarfs ASAP.
Scarf Option # 1
This quirky number highlights how you’re totally stable and definitely don’t have an eating disorder, even though your obsession with celery has gotten so intense that it has made its way into your wardrobe.
Scarf Option # 2
Nothing says “Take me on a date!” like a woman who anthropomorphizes scarves. People on the street will squint to see what your throat cozy says. You’ll be able to take advantage of their vulnerable state by landing a quick peck on the lips before running away, throwing your new accessory/ best friend over your shoulder. What a woman of mystery!
Scarf Option # 3
Are you the kind of lady who fantasizes about marrying a deli owner? Then this is the look for you! Extra bonus: there’s no need to wear perfume. People will automatically smell the delicious, briny scent of pickles the second they see you.
Scarf Option # 4
If you’re like most people, you only want to date birds that lay enormous eggs and don’t have the ability to fly. Use this handy-dandy scarf to remind yourself of your romantic ambitions. Any time you find yourself getting moony-eyed over a hominid, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. That’s right, you’re wearing a scarf that tells you that you’re only interested in ostriches.
Scarf Option # 5
Do you want to let the world know that you’re DTF, but don’t actually want to get naked in public? This scarf is the neck – oops- next best thing. Plus, no one can be disappointed by your subpar boobs in comparison to the lumpy, knitted bosoms around your neck!
Images via Zazzle and Hollyscoop