What to Watch on Netflix for Every Stage of Your Casual Hookup

Time to break out the chapstick.


I totally understand how nerve wracking it can be when a guy comes over to your apartment for the first time. I get it. You’re not Diane Keaton in Annie Hall level wealthy. You can’t accidentally let a fleet of lobsters loose to hilarious and romance-inducing results. So, you end up sitting on your futon and watching Netflix with the guy. But it doesn’t have to be so bad! TV and movies are dating staples for a reason. There are certain films and series that are perfect for every level of a relationship, whether you’re ready for the guy to leave early, or want him to stay the night.

Netflix Level 1: New Encounter
Somehow you’re brave enough to let a complete stranger enter your home and cuddle up next to you on your couch. Maybe he opens the door and is four inches shorter than he promised. Or maybe his voice sounds like he inhaled a fistful of balloons right before he rang the doorbell. No worries, girl. I’ve been in both of these scenarios. What you need is something funny that can lighten the mood. If you adjust yourself just right, you can even get the guy out of your peripheral vision and pretend it’s just you and your cat, like it should have been all along. We all make mistakes.

The Perfect Show: 
Screen Shot 2014-07-18 at 11.56.52 AM

If your date doesn’t love Scrubs, or at least hasn’t seen a handful of episodes, you officially have my permission to punch him in the face and ask him to leave. This show is great because it has very little sexual tension — just steer clear of the episodes where JD and Elliot have sex. Even then, Scrubs usually makes the dirty deed seem more awkward than appealing.

Stand up specials also work really well for these kinds of situations. You’ll be laughing too hard for any kind of sexual tension! Bonus: if you really hate your date, short TV episodes make it easier to kick him out ASAP.

Netflix Level 2: Make Out Ready
Okay, so your date has a normal sounding voice and regular body proportions. He might even smell good and have a sexy job like a librarian. (I can’t be the only one that’s into that, right?) You’re going to want to move into movie territory for this one, so that your companion can get comfortable enough to make a move. Or for you to get comfortable enough to make a move. It’s the 21st century, woman! Of course, you don’t want a viewing option that’s so blatantly sexual that he thinks you’re really planning on going 50 Shades of Grey on him midway through the first scene. If this is the kind of situation you’re in, your best option is:

The Perfect Movie:
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This movie’s a classic. I recently watched this with a guy, and he could not have been more excited. Who doesn’t have fond memories of watching The Breakfast Club in high school? After all, it’s the perfect combination of humor and emotion. If neither of you have gone in for the kiss by the end of the movie, there’s an opportune moment when all of the new couples kiss each other goodbye. You can thank me later.

Netflix Level 3: It’s Sexy Time
Maybe you’ve seen this guy before and you’re ready to take things to the next level. If he’s a librarian, I don’t blame you. Luckily, Netflix knows that one of its main purposes is to get movie-loving couples in the mood for what’s to come after the credits have rolled. In fact, if you type “steamy” into the search bar, this comes up:

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Extra credit if you have the courage to literally search “steamy movies” while your man is in the room. At that point you could watch Leave It To Beaver and he’d still know what was on your mind. But if you want my recommendation for a sexy date night movie, I would go with:

The Perfect Porn Movie:
Screen Shot 2014-07-18 at 12.17.03 PM

I’ll admit that I haven’t seen this before. Then again, I’ve never searched for movies using the keyword “steamy.” Where have I been? The reviews for this subtitled, originally French film are mixed, but they all agree that there’s a lot of sexy sex. And let’s be honest, that’s all we were really looking for here, right?

What are you waiting for? Go put on your most seductive loungewear, make some popcorn, and romance your casual hookup with the subtle charms of Netflix!

Related links:
Netflix Will Remove These 79 Films From Their Database on Tuesday
Why Your Casual Hookup Is Just Like Your Cable Provider
Science to Help Your Sex Life: Does Your Casual Hookup Want to Make Things Official?

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