The 10 Best Internet Conspiracy Theories About Beyoncé’s New Bob
Breaking Beyoncé hair update: The pixie is over – gone. Vanished. Exited the building. But wait, you already knew that, because you are currently immersed in the constantly-churning vat of conspiracy theory otherwise known as the internet.
We are of the opinion that the person exiting a Malibu restaurant yesterday was not Beyoncé at all, and was probably Rihanna or Miley Cyrus or Coco Rocha, because jeez they’re all looking so similar these days. But other people aren’t so sure. See below for the inevitable stream of hypotheses as to why the pixie cut is now a… Pob? Beyob? Bobeyonce? Oh, we don’t know.
- ‘Beyoncé’s like the evil queen in Return To Oz and just has a big room full of different wigs that she can choose from every day’ – The Mirror
- ‘She’s the latest celeb to try out the Karlie‘ (actually possible) – Fashionista
- ‘Beyoncé clearly caught wind of the criticism over her drastic pixie haircut’ – Entertainmentwise
- “Bey’s still adjusting to her new look and is worried she won’t feel herself on stage” – As told by a trusted source/terrible friend to the Daily Star
- ‘Beyoncé and Rihanna have traded bodies’ in what is a ‘real Freaky Friday situation” – Crushable
- She ‘lives to have her hair blow in the breeze of a few well-aimed stage fans’ – Beauty High
- The pixie cut might not have been her actual hair (What does this even mean?!) according to The YBF, who have helpfully identified that Beyoncé’s stylist ‘didn’t flat out confirm last week’s new look was Bey’s actual hair’
- Also, these are definitely the hairstyles of a pregnant woman, according to The Hollywood Gossip
- She is most certainly copying Rihanna – ‘A day after Rihanna debuted a longer ‘do, Beyoncé seemed to follow suit and reach for the hair extensions,’ points out Vibe
- Or maybe Beyoncé just wasn’t ready to rock a pixie after all (Glamor)
Leave your own theory in the comments below. Or just, you know, continue with life.