Search Style Sheets: Your Photos, Your Looks

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• Anonymous

  Um…if you are going to make it a NSFW, then it should be a link inside the article. NOT a gigantic picture of it in the center of the damn page.

• http://www.facebook.com/barley.singer Barley Singer

  first off – yes – if anything actually *IS* :”Not Safe for Work”, then it ought to require clicking through an obvious warning to display it.

  That said – I don’t consider this to be “Not Safe for Work”. I suspect that most US employers would disagree. Then again they are also letting the inmates run the asylum in a sense when it omces to “sexual harassment” issues.

  Essntially, if a person who has unresolved emotional issues, is “set off” by a thing they see or hear while at work – instead of them sendin ghta tperson off to get counciling (so they can get better) they cater to that person issues, and reward them for not attempting to gain mental stability by giving them a big monitary settlement over nothing, and then firing people who did not do anything wrong.

  Then again I’m also not a prude, i AM NOT DEALI do not believe that skin=sex automatically, and I also do not believe that that the existence of the “beauty mutants” (those with amazingly good looks) says anything about me, my value in society, my self worth, etc. There are also people who have amazing intelligence and amazing talent in certain areas. Their existence is “not about me”. The fact that there are people who are better looking than I am is irrelevant to my existence. It isn’t insulting or degrading or a statement of how “society” values me or how I ought to value myself, because other people excel in ways that I do not. If I believed that drivel, it would more than likely be because of my OWN emotional issues, and have nothing to do with the reality of my work place.

  It would not be “Intellectual Harassment” in the workplace for my co-workers to discuss the unusual intelligence of Nickoli Tesla, no matte how i might view my own intelligence or how they view my intelligence or how bright i might actuallty be. The discussion is not about me.

  Neither is existence of a calendar with hot peopel on it (who are worth a short ogle) which is on some person cubical wall – and this does not change weather or not those peopel oin those phtots are better looking than I am (in my opinion, or my co-workers opinions). The rest would be in my mind. My personal insecurites are NOT a good reason for me to take my boss or coworkers to court.

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  and a bad self image.

  That said, things have gone far overboard in regards to NSFW, and NSFW is tied directly into misperceptions regarding the nature of sexual harassment.

  * What is “safe for work”?
  * Where are the lines?
  * What actions are really “sexual harassment”, which ones are “officially” and what is the difference?
  * Who says and why?

  If I react to the actions of other people (including the presence of an object or some internet material) in the workplace, by feeling bad about myself – does the problem actually lie in the other people who are there NOW at my work place, or is the real crux of the problem from the past – involving people who are not even there?

  If I see a picture of a good looking person on somebodies cubical wall, and this results (in me) in my having bad feelings about myself, about my self worth, etc – are these feeling from working in a hypersexualised atmosphere, or from my own unresolved emotional baggage?

  Is it right to make a given workplace into a bland and impersonal place, where everyone is essentially a-sexua, given that most adults spend more of theri conscious time at work than in any other location? Wouldn;t doing this be damaging to peopel mentally over time?

  If a peson has unresolved emotional issues involgin their appearance (perhaps an erroneous belief that they are “not good enough” – which is quite common amoungst teh most beautifuyl peope OI have evernnets that I am not good looking)

  … they could be issues regarding my belief in how I look, regarding my having weight problems or skin problems, or far more likely my having had some seriously bad event having happened to me previously in my life, which I am NOT over and which has colored by perceptions?

  Far too often this area seems to be utterly dependent on what the “harassed” person is offended by (which is in their head) more than anything else. Very little of it has to do with INTENT and if there is no intent than it is hard to actualy harass a person. As a person who has been harassed in life in a variety of various ways in my life, I know the difference. I also know that bad experiences can cause a person to see harassment/bullying where it is not.

  Would it be “Intellectual Harassment” in the workplace, for people to be allowed to be SMARTER than I am oir have evidence of any superior intelligence around their desks, or compliment people on their inborn intelligence

  more on what is in the mind of those who object more than any other quality of any item.

  In some nations (especially the USA), people get sent home to change due to what they are wearing (oddly enough it is only ever women who are treated this way – an action that in itself says that the boss views that person too sexually). This is nearly always done when a woman is considered to be “too sexy” for work … it is their appearance (they need to tone it down). They are nearly always wearing clothing that on the other women in the same office would not elicit that response. Yup – being naturally attractive can get you disciplined or even sacked these days (unless you are willing to wear a burlap bag and stop washing your hair).

  I wish people in workplaces (and the lawyers of the world) would figure out that the human body isn’t evil or inateley sexual and that sexual content is not a dangerous thing. Normal compliments that are not sleazy, and peoep are terrified to make them these days (a once common practivece is now so out of fashion that peoepl have bad people who are naturally people, and even images of nudity in and of them self are NOT things that are sexually harassing in their nature.

  To have sexual harassment at work, you must have harassment. Harassment is intentional; it involves bullying a person. Harassment is unwelcome and intentional attention (not imagined or misconstrued actions). I have seen the real thing and most of what is called sexual harassment is not harassment at all,. and in many cases not sexual either (and is only in the mind of the person who is annoyed, often due to their own trauma issues).

  For a contrast that people can understand better – let us substitute another irrational assumption of danger for a moment. Image a large person who COULD do physical damage…perhaps one whose appearance is not “candy and flowers” pretty. The presence of a large person who COULD do physical harm if they chose to, is not the same thing as actually threatening to do harm, menacing a person, or real bullying. However 0- some people (due to trauma or a form of social conditioning) will automatically assume they are in danger when they are not, or that they are being harassed or targeted when they are not. The number of black people who get picked up by the police for the sole action of EXISTING in a place where there are white people who believe (and assume) that the presence of any black person – especially a male – is a threat to them – is quite high in some parts of the world, and it results in a whole lot of arrests for the crime of being black around the paranoid and mentally unbalanced.

  Relate thius now to a person who tells a womn at work that she look snice in wehat she is wearing, or who has a picture of a eprson in a bikini near theri desk,.
  The same sort of thing applies to issues of sexual harassment and NSFW items. If there is actual menacing, or ongoing unwanted interaction, or sleazy actions that are always there…there is an issue. There is no form of harassment that is OK at work (I wish bosses would figure this out – too many of them seem to think that being an ass is how you take charge of things).

  Unfortunately most of what is NSFW is not a problem to anyone aside from those people who have emotional issues. But instead of explaining reality to them, explaining that an image of a woman in a bikini has nothing to do with them personally at all (except in their mind)…and getting them help, or even just plain ignoring them – we cater to them and let them run reality for all of us.

  Instead of admiting this we are alloing those who need HELP to run the show with the help of their lawyers (and

  These things are far more often than not in the eye of the beholder. I have SEEN real sexual harassment. They are not the same thing at all.

  (and also large) one) as automatically begin dangerous. First people must be harassed (sexual or not). some people in the world/workplace have been conditioned to feel nudity is shameful, or sinful and that any degree of content that could bee seen as sexual is also out of bounds. This is a dangerous and slippery slope to cater to, as it can lead to a bad on kissing ones spouse hello/goodbye on the work site…a ban on all compliments based on appearance…”in our workplace no positive statements allowed peoples appearance are allowed – they can be misinterpreted, make peopeo luncomfportable as we would not want aqnyone to feel good about their life, but you can get fired for looking like dogs breakfast regularly).

  . There are also people who cannot tell which things in the world are NOT ABOUT THEM and which simply exist (low theory of mind…like toddles have). They tend to be unable to tell that presence of a thing does not make it ALL ABOUT THEM & automatically see all things as all about them. To people like this them, all the things they deem to be offensive, are always about them (even things like the presence of people of color in their sight or in their neighborhood ..or the existend of gay peopel anywhere in the world). We we create a category like NSFW for items that do not contain extreme sexual content, we are catering to people who are unbalanced. We are letting crazy people dictate how the rest of the world behaves.

  I am a tuby disabled guy (almost 50) and I do not consider the presence of a calendar of nude (or close to it) body builders in the work place to be at all about me. It would simply exist. My reaction to it would be about MY mental and emotional state, not about the object.

  ..and neityer would an image of two peope kjissing of hte same gender…/offensive to me.

  which is not inately u rsight, , This is called intolerance and it tends to come from damaging forms of social conditioning and/or personal emotional issues (trauma related stuff) being mixed up with the rest of the world. is not the same thing as actual harassment.