Lazaro Hernandez On The Time A ‘F*cking Hipster’ Stole His Dog
Last week, I was thirty minutes late to a breakfast for Marc Jacobs‘ new fragrance Daisy Eau So Fresh because my 6-year-old French Bulldog (a recent rescue from rural Oklahoma) had taken an unsupervised ride in my building’s elevator and ended up wandering happily around the fourth floor, no doubt wondering what sort of parallel universe he’d been transported into because everything was the same and yet so very different. And if you’re wondering why on earth I’m telling you this, it’s because the exact same thing happened to Proenza Schouler’s Lazaro Hernandez and his five-pound canine, Jojo. Well, almost.
Hernandez and his design partner Jack McCollough are interviewed by their good friend and walking billboard Chloe Sevigny in this month’s Interview magazine, and while the whole thing is worth reading (especially the part where they explain how to pronounce the name of their line and reveal they regret naming it so in the first place), I couldn’t help but relate to Hernandez tale of lost dogs, artsy hipsters, and rogue elevators.
The story begins at the Proenza Schouler studio:
I was here alone, eight o’clock at night. I had my bags. I was going to Italy the next morning. I grabbed my dog and my bags and I’m waiting for the elevator but it doesn’t come. It’s taking forever so I’m like, “Fuck. What’s going on?” And I had to take a piss. So I run to the bathroom to pee, and I come back to the front, and the dog is gone. I have no idea where he is. I’m like, “He must have taken the elevator. He must be in the lobby.”
I press the elevator again. It takes another 10 minutes for it to come. The elevator door opens. It’s packed, packed, packed with [art] people — Dan [Colen] and Nate [Lowman].
…They’re like, “Hey, Lazaro.” I’m like, “Hey. It’s my building. I’m going home. I lost my dog.”
Well, I get to the lobby and there are hundreds of people. There’s a line down to Broome Street. I asked some guy, “Have you seen a dog?” He’s like, “Oh, yeah. Someone left a dog in the elevator. I don’t know where he went. He’s somewhere in the building.” I have no idea it’s Harmony [Korine]‘s or Rita [Ackermann]‘s [art exhibit] opening. So I go to the Swiss Institute and it’s packed with hundreds of people. My dog weighs five pounds! I’m freaking out.
[I'm like], someone stole him. One of these fucking hipsters stole my dog.
…I’m at this party. I start bumping into Harmony and Terry [Richardson] and all these people. I’m thrown into this party environment and I’m just looking for my dog. I’m really scared. All of a sudden you [Chloe] call me. I thought you were at the party and you had seen me or something. I thought, Oh, Chloë must be here. I picked up, and you said, “Did you lose your dog?”
Well, it turns out that Sevigny wasn’t at the party — instead, she was in Los Angeles, where she received a call from a friend Sid, who she knew from high school. Sid had apparently happened upon the dog, somehow figured out that it was Hernandez’ dog, and called Sevigny to get in touch with the designer. Hernandez found Sid and Jojo in a corner two minutes later, and all were reunited.
The moral of the story: if you’re going to lose your dog in an elevator, it pays to be friends with Chloe Sevigny. Or something.
Proenza Schouler by Chloe Sevigny [Interview]