Queen Elizabeth Carries A Spit-Activated Suction Cup In Her Fancy Handbag
The Daily Telegraph reports that Her Majesty’s black patent leather handbag (from British leather goods house Launer) is stuffed with the kinds of things that regular, non-royal people use on the daily. She only carries cash on Sundays (a £5 note for the collection bin at church). She has reading glasses, mints, a fountain pen (ball-point pens simply wouldn’t do for all those royal edicts) and a small mirror and tube of lipstick. Because even the queen likes to do a quick touch up after dinner.
But the most peculiar item in her purse has to be a suction cup hook that she uses to hang the bag underneath tables.
A dinner guest at the Berkshire home of Jean Wills, the Queen’s cousin, is said to have been surprised to see the Queen spitting into a plastic suction cup before attaching the hook under the table.
“I watched the Queen open her handbag and remove a white suction cup and discreetly spit into it,” the guest is quoted as saying.
“The Queen then attached the cup to the underside of the table. The cup had a hook on it, and she attached her handbag to it.”
If you think this behavior is somehow unqueenly, let us remind you of this: The basic reason that Her Majesty carries this hook around is so her personal property won’t be besmirched with the indignity of having to touch the floor. And if that’s not worth a little spit, we don’t know what is.