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Rachel Zoe Recap: Guess Who’s Going To Have A Baby?!

We don’t mean to give it all away in the headline, but last night’s season finale of The Rachel Zoe Project came to the conclusion towards which its been inexorably moving all season: despite all the protestations, despite the terse refusals, fraught silences, and not-so-subtley underscored health concerns, Rachel and Rodger are having a baby.

But let’s start at the beginning. The beginning takes place in Los Angeles where Brad Goreski, the dashingly dressed and overworked Style Director of Rachel Zoe, Inc., is slaving away — this time on a shoot for Love magazine. This is a great gig because, like that V magazine shoot in the first (or was it second?) season, Love is a high-fashion ‘zine which makes for some seriously fun styling. But Brad does not see the fun, only the work, and he wishes Rachel would learn to say no to things. They need a break.

The shoot is Bardot-themed and stars model Ginta Lapina. There is nothing really exciting that happens here other than watching Brad and Jordan struggle with clothing racks and grumble about how they’d like to go home. Brad makes the astute observation, “Wait, am I turning into Taylor?” Rachel also does some work and some grumbling and falls over when trying to pick up a few fur and faux fur coats with one hand. This is both funny and sad but eventually it is all over and the takeaways are:

1. Every woman should own one piece of leopard, but not every woman will wear leopard.
2. Grey is a horrible color, unless you’re a pale, blonde model wearing it against the backdrop of the Pacific ocean.

Rachel Zoe is a genius.

But, moving on, to New York in May, where Zoe, Inc. are prepping for the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala, which should just be called Anna Wintour‘s big party for designers and people who look good in their clothing. Zoe has been invited by Marc Jacobs which, as she astutely points out, is like being invited to a ball by the prince (of fashion).

Zoe, Inc. is also styling four clients: Annie Hathaway, Kate Hudson, Demi Moore, and Eva Mendez. But, perhaps because the cameras are distracted by the fact that Rachel’s attendance means she will be styling herself, there isn’t much to be seen of this process. Magical elves put Kate in silver, Eva in roses, Demi in gunmetal, and Annie in champagne sparkles. Well done.

But the big question is: what will Rachel wear?! The options are: Marc Jacobs or Marc Jacobs but the process is fascinating to watch. The first daisy printed, ’80s inspired gown Rachel puts on is so wretchedly ugly its actually astounding to watch people not tell her that.

WATCH:

Thankfully, she settles on a saffron yellow velvet gown that looks like a precursor to Jacobs’ ’70s-inspired Spring 2011 collection. It is too big for her but that can be fixed.

And then the ball is over, the prince has gone back to his now ex-boyfriend Lorenzo Martone, and Zoe, Inc. heads back to Los Angeles where everyone can pester her some more about whether or not she wants to have a baby. (Naturally, the baby pestering also occurs in New York, namely by Rachel’s sister, but you didn’t need us to tell you that.)

But! The Rachel that returns to Los Angeles is a different Rachel. It’s a Rachel who wants to go to “the lady doctor” to see where things stand with her baby-making insides. Rodger begs to go along, Rachel agrees, and as a result, we have the most mind-bendingly awkward five minutes ever seen on reality TV. Also: Rachel Zoe is 38 years old.

WATCH:

Don’t let that miserable elevator ride and repetitive argument dissuade you, Rachel and Rodger are a happy couple. A happy couple who, once they get back to their apartment, allow each other to actually speak in complete sentences. Rachel wants a baby, she’s just scared because she knows when she gets that baby she’ll love it so much more than all her dresses and faux furs and Chanel bags — and then what will it all have been worth?

She goes outside, puts on her sunglasses, and — we suspect — cries, until Rodger follows her on to the balcony, holds her, and we — the audience, America, the fashionably obsessed — know that everything will be alright. In Rachel’s own words:

They are meant to be parents. And she wants to do it. Not totally sure how yet. But they’re going to be. Period. The end.

The End.



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