British Court Says Saggy Pants Ban Is Below The Belt

by Megan Baldwin | 1:49 pm, May 4th, 2010

Who knew boxer-displaying pants were such a hot-button issue? First New York Senator Eric Adams declared war on all that doth droop beneath the crotch line, brandishing belts and calling on the youth of America to “raise your pants, raise your image.” And now the latest in the saggy pants saga: one British teen just isn’t taking the low-slung ban lying down. According to the Daily Mail, a court in England ruled recently on behalf of thugs everywhere, calling any infringement on the right to bare boxers well below the belt.

“Some of the requirements struck me as contrary to the Human Rights Act,” ruled a judge after Crown Prosecution Service applied for 18-year old Ellis Drummond to receive an “anti-social behavior” order preventing him from “wearing trousers so low beneath the waistline that members of the public are able to see his underwear” and any tops “with the hood up.”

For his part, Drummond — himself a violent offender and convicted drug user — called the legal briefings silly. Clearly — because obviously his clothing had nothing to do with his bouts of juvenile delinquency. If anything we think such trousers would impeded a quick getaway — see: the penguin waddle — and be more laughable than intimidating.

Thankfully, we live in the good old US of A where the right to bare underwear as outerwear is, sartorially speaking, as safe as as a mullet, or a jean tuxedo. Though we’ve got to side with the Prez on this one, even if passing a law is a waste of time, unless you’re walking in an Alexander Wang show or starring in a revival of Mary Poppins, keep those tighty-whites where they belong.