WATCH: This iPhone App Will Sort Your Socks For You
Finally, a smartphone app that will tell you which of your socks match! And it gives the anti-cheating ring a run for its money in the totally useless product category.
Sock innovation company Black Socks recently unveiled a new iPhone application that communicates with fancy, microchip-embedded black calf socks (called Smart Socks) that the company sells. You heard that right, dear readers — it talks to your stockings. Each sock has a unique ID number, and sock pairs are matched up in the app. You can scan the microchip on any sock to see which other sock it goes with. Sounds clever, right?
However, we have several questions about this product: 1) If the only compatible socks are black calf length socks, don’t they all match anyway? 2) Assuming the wearer is not blind, can’t they look at the socks and tell which ones match without an app telling them? And 3) what if you want to wear white socks?! The one slightly useful feature of this app would probably be the “black-o-meter”, which tells you when your socks are too faded and you should stop wearing them. But again, you have eyeballs, so…still pointless.
Lest you worry about footwear infidelity (i.e. matching the wrong socks together and thus breaking the hearts of sock life partners), rest assured that smart socks “are always faithful to their sock partner.” Thank goodness, because you know, morals and stuff. Watch the unintentionally hilarious commercial below, which includes (totally unprovoked) gems such as “Some cynical women would claim that this is the only way a man could sort his own socks.” Would you buy this sock-sorting tool?