Have you been single for a minute and missing the baffling amount of energy it takes to care for a grown ass adult man? Good news! You can call 1-800-Adopt-a-Dude and, for pocket change, improve the life of “a fully grown, yet utterly helpless man.”
They understand the nagging anxiety that persists when you don’t have a whining, cranky dude suffering a mancold on your couch — and they want to help. By adopting one of their dudes, you can have the satisfaction of knowing that you’re caring for another adult human being, like a mother would a needy infant, without the time commitment of a full-fledged relationship.
Consider it, friends. You know you’ve been itching to completely disregard your own needs and feelings to throw yourself into charity work.
[h/t The Hairpin]