5 Logical Conclusions to Draw From Beyoncé’s New ‘Flawless’ Lyrics

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If you are a person with ears or internet access, you’ll be aware that Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj have remixed the song that’s to blame for every #wokeuplikethis selfie spamming your Instagram feed. “Flawless” 2.0 is faster, swaggier, and more relentlessly egotistical than ever before.

But obviously it’s not all about two females looking super hot. Beyoncé also makes a half-assed, brilliantly elusive attempt at addressing that thing that happened in that elevator that one time, adding in an “Of course sometimes shit go down / When it’s a billion dollars on an elevator” and repeating it for effect. God damn, god damn, god damn!

Beyoncé is not stranger to messing with your mind via lyrical swaps. The most exciting thing that’s happened so far on that “On the Run” tour was probably her changing the “Resentment” lyrics, which was obviously done because Jay Z is cheating on her with Rihanna and not at all because it’s a live tour so sometimes lyrics are added for a little extra zing. So in the face of swirling rumors over the #worldsmosttalkedaboutdivorce, what other conclusions can we draw from the Beyoncé’s new “Flawless” verse?

It stay Yoncé, your Yoncé in that lingerie
On that chardonnay, scorin’ touchdowns on your runway
[Jay Z and Beyoncé's sex life is still in tact. They're still boning like intoxicated bunnies. But the fact that they often rely on easy-drinking white wine as a precursor to foreplay suggests the spark might be fading.]

I’m Texas forever like Bun B, and I’m redboned yo
I’m (?) like John Jay, I’m camo in here yo
[Beyoncé compares herself to the Former Chief Justice of the United States. John Jay had a very turbulent family life, and a sibling with mental disabilities.]

These thots can’t clock me nowadays
You wish I was your pound cake
Boy you know I look good as fuck
You wish I was your babymomma
[Beyoncé alludes to a love affair with Drake, who has a song about Beyoncé is the splitting fucking image of Blue Ivy. However the affair is really just a social media façade to punish Jay Z for having an obviously real affair with Drake's high-profile ex Rihanna.]

Want me to come around and give you good karma, but no
We escalate, up in this bitch like elevators
Of course sometimes shit go down
When it’s a billion dollars on an elevator
Of course sometimes shit go down
When it’s a billion dollars on an elevator
[Yeah that]

Momma taught me good home training
My Daddy taught me how to love my haters
[Beyoncé is aware that a divorce will bring shame upon both her mother and Jesus. Luckily her father taught her that love is more of a skill than an actual feeling, and hence the aforementioned shame might not be necessary.]

My sister taught me I should speak my mind
My man made me feel so God damn fine (I’m flawless!)
[You'll never know what actually happened in the elevator, but Solange was totally in the right to hit Jay Z. Resume speculation.]

Related links:
Literally Everything You Need to Know About These Beyoncé/Jay Z Divorce Rumours
This Video of Solange Attacking Jay Z Is the Craziest Thing You’ll See Today [Updated]
House of Carters: Jay Z and Beyonce Are Basically Real Life Frank and Claire Underwood

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