Certainly you know that Beyoncé is on the cover of the latest CR Fashion Book, Carine Roitfled’s v high fashun, v AVANT-GARDE, v l@@k-based magazine, and stars in an accompanying ten-page spread. I am sure you felt the subterranean undulations (just the daemons being beaten back from our mortal surface for another day, NBD), heard the rapturous tintinnabulation of Mount Olympus, noticed that the sun is shining just a bit brighter and the atmosphere is pushing you forward in your journey, a cool and firm hand clapped on your shoulder, instead of leaning hard on your chest, making your weary. And as if a new Queen Bey pictorial wasn’t enough, the collaboration lies within the same issue as North West’s modeling debut. Two members of royalty within one magazine! Bey knows that she wiped out our savings accounts by dropping secret albums and $125 backpacks and decided to bless us poor and penny-pinching for ours is the kingdom of Beyven. O joyous day! Callooh! Callay!
And nestled among the shots of Bey with a Chanel surfbo
ardrt strapped across her back and Bey standing “Ring The Alarm” chic in a seductively spread brown trench is a true miracle: Dear Leader has gifted us with a prose poem of her own hand in lieu of a cover story.
How do we process such a spectacular gift? Lines like “You call me a singer, but I’m called to transform, / to suck up the grief, anxiety, and loss / of those who hear me into my song’s form”? This Epic of Beygamesh? We didn’t know, so we just wrote our own poem like we were back in freshman year of high school and trying to serve some Kat Stratford realness.
Oh Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter, our Queen
you’re both the beautiful nightmare and the sweet dream
we’ve been worshipping your thighs since you came on the scene.
Seriously, what do you feed those things?
We like it so much we would put the Olympic rings
on it. Honestly, we would pay just to have you
stare at us disdainfully or lock us out of
our apartment. You don’t even have to sing.
You asked us Who Run The World?
And right before we were about to answer
You yelled out GIRLS!
And we were like, “Damn, Bey —
you didn’t even give us a chance!
Like, there is more time between our blinks
than that Q&A. So impatient. But yeah,
sure, let’s go with ‘girls.’ We were
going to say Batman but clearly you
have a whole thing planned out so just
go ahead. Don’t know why you asked us
a question you already know the answer to…”
You have been
drunk in love
crazy in love
dangerously in love
and we can’t even get a swipe right
from the dude we like.
Teach us how, Bey
Teach us to be a Beyoncé in the streets
and a “Rocket” by Beyoncé in the sheets
and a “Partition” by Beyoncé in the limo
(and can you be a “Partition” by Beyoncé in an Uber, or is that a no?)
and a Keri Hilson nowhere at all
because love came around and
it knocked her down
straight off the charts.
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