PHOTOS: Alessandra Ambrosio Gets Kinky On America’s Next Top Model

In this week’s America’s Next Top Model, we learned three important lessons: chemistry is hard to fake, no one’s more beautiful than Alessandra Ambrosio, and just because you have great cheekbones doesn’t mean you can rock the bald look.

At the beginning of the episode Tyra Banks and Rob Evans addressed the constant rumors that the two are lovers: they’re are! After the models looked shocked by the news, Tyra followed up that JK, they’re not. But the prank wasn’t merely to confuse. Tyra was teaching the models a valuable lesson. The reason the Tyra and Rob are constantly surrounded by gossip is that the two have believable chemistry. Then she taught the models how to achieve that chemistry in a photo. All it takes is three easy steps.

1. Fresh breath
2. Tension
3. Inhaling

After some practice, the contestants paired up and took sexy pictures with special guest stars, posing with Victoria’s Secret superstar Alessandra Ambrosio and photographed by Sarah Silver. But even wannabe top models can only look like accessories next to the Brazilian icon, and the pictures all ended up mediocre at best, consistently gaining mostly 6 ratings from the judges. The point of the photos was to create an illusion of chemistry, but in general the contestants seemed either bored, self-absorbed, or revolted and though this was largely due to intimidation by Ambosio, it was still baffling how people could be so un-erotic.

After the photoshoot, it was time for the makeovers, a quintessential part of the ANTM experience. It proved challenging to come up with interesting ideas for the men, but many were dyed blond, Cory went completely bald, and Phil got a weave. They all got waxed. Cory was unhappy with his shiny bald ‘do, and it’s hard to blame him. Though Tyra insisted it made him top model fierce, it wasn’t particularly flattering. But it was better than Phil’s weave. Though everyone else seemed to like its “Jesus” vibe, it actually looked incredibly cheap and unnatural. The girls’ makeovers were more standard: Jiana got a bob, Jourdan went blond, and Kanani pulled a Beyonce.

Chlea got nice blonde extensions, but they ended up a consolation prize, as she was sent home. It’s surprising that the one plus-size model got cut so soon into the cycle, but it was the right call. After her feud with Kelly Cutrone last week, her security seemed lost and she was a bit of a mess the entire episode.

Best insult of the night: While it may seem impossible for Cutrone to ever outdo herself, she managed to with this line on Marvin’s picture:

“You look like a high school boy that snuck into a whore house but didn’t have any money and didn’t have any game to get laid for free.”

Related posts:
Gay Marriage And Near Death Experiences: It’s America’s Next Top Model
America’s Next Top Model Recap: Sob Stories, Drama, Smizing…With Men

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