You might think we’re cuckoo for hinging a post on the most precarious of news pegs, but on a weekend when stuff’s not happening at a glacial pace, a spot of learning, a dab of persuasive writing and lot of Internet spiraling are just what the ornithologist ordered.
Jan. 5 is National Bird Day — not to be confused with Bird Day and International Migratory Bird Day — an occasion for contemplating the sad, empty life of the American avian pet. We prefer our feathered friends uncaged too, so let’s take a moment of silence then reconvene for the not-depressing bit, shall we?
Below, we’ve rounded up all kinds of bird-related stories, so you don’t have to end up chalky-haired like Henry Holland. There’s scandal, pathos, death, a cute kid, Hitchcock, leather, cocktails, Ann Romney, Karl — everything you could want in an activity that excludes Netflix.
We can’t promise reading all these will make you smarter
if you don’t retain anything but the weather’s life-threatening and we could think of far worse triggers to set off a trip down the Olio Lusso-slicked hillside.
this is some kind of spaceship or something.