Bret Michaels ‘Starved’ For His Abs, Could Have Used Makeup

No matter what they might tell you to the contrary, men want abs — especially (but not exclusively) if they’re going to be photographed naked. That’s what prompted rock star Bret Michaels to not eat for a day before the his cover shoot with Billboard Magazine.

Michaels is promoting his own triumphant (?) return to reality television. His new show, “Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It,” will premiere on VH1 on Oct. 18. The New York Daily News reports he agreed to the shoot under two conditions.

“I said, ‘Listen, I have two requests – good lighting and a warm room. That’s all I’m asking for,’ ” Michaels told E! Online about his body-baring photo shoot. “If I’m walking out with it all f—— hanging out there for the world to see then, well, I need good lighting and a warm room.”

Terms reached, Michaels went home, fasted, and did about 2,000 situps.

But it turns out that he didn’t have to go that far. The New York Times reported yesterday that there are tons of tips and tricks men use to get better-looking abs. For instance, there are the skin-tightening gels with caffeine to make flesh look less puffy. Or the artfully applied makeup/self tanner combinations favored by the already ripped male dancers on “Dancing With The Stars.”

Melanie Mills, the lead makeup artist for “Dancing with the Stars” and a spokeswoman for St. Tropez tanning products, said that for faster results, the male dancers on the show, who often perform shirtless, have custom tans to appear more buff.

“Those guys on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ have fabulous bodies but they don’t want to go out there without us helping them out,” Ms. Mills said.

See? Even guys who already have abs want more abs. Consumers who don’t have to be buff professionally can get the same kind of effect with things like the Abs in a Box kit, which has a caffeine cream and a makeup palette designed to help you paint your way to a better body.

Now, I want a stomach you could scrub clothes on as much as the next guy, but I don’t have one because of my penchant for naps and cream-based soups. Micheal’s method to abdonimal glory was undoubtably unhealthy, and cosmetic six packs are undoubtably fake. But so is everything else in magazine photo shoots. On this one, we would have gone with the paint.

[Via The New York Daily News and The New York Times]

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