Ladies and gentlemen, gird your loins: below is a photo of Frank Ocean and it may just be the best photo of Frank Ocean to ever exist. Frank Ocean has always been dreamy but now he is living all of your eighth grade dreams that you were too much of a weenie to fulfill since your mother told you that no girl with Nickelodeon-slime-colored hair would be allowed to live under her roof and besides you weren’t quite sure that Manic Panic would work since your natural shade is that of an Armenian man’s pubes.
But Frank Ocean is bold, Frank Ocean didn’t take Let’s see what your father has to say about this as an answer, Frank Ocean now looks like a sexy mermaid who unintentionally seduced all of King Triton’s daughters and wrote a sadboy remix to “Kiss The Girl” instead of asking any of them out.
[Beyoncé voice] Goddamn, goddamn, GODDAMN!
We think he can pull it* off. In fact, this is what we are going to look like anytime anyone asks us about Frank Ocean’s new ‘do:
Cuz we are passionate about this little violet who turned violet, Violet!
But, Frank — if we may call you Frank — can you please spend less time bleaching your roots and more time working on your new album? Please? We’ve been hoarding a sizable amount of money in our iTunes account, waiting. We would hate to be caught off guard, AGAIN.
*“It” being “our clothes”
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