Heidi Klum is Allure‘s May cover girl, and not only did she pose naked for the magazine, she also told the glossy all about her patented blowjob technique.
She explained the importance of gay men in her life: “They are like this kaleidoscope of interesting thoughts and opinions. They teach you so many things about men that are useful.” “Like what?” our reporter asked. Klum paused, and then made the universal tounge-moving-rapidly-in-cheek motion that signifies blowies. She explained what she’s learned (off the record, of course), and our reporter said she discovered two things: 1) Everything sounds authoritative when said in a German accent, and 2) Seal was a lucky guy.
And speaking of Seal:
“You know, I wouldn’t change anything. If I had to go back in time and say, ‘I should have changed this or that…’ No. I don’t resent anything that ever happened. Things just turn out the way they turn out…. I’m still in the eye of the storm now, and it’s all a little bit crazy. But sometimes you have to be apart in order to figure it out.”
Another (sort of) revelation? Klum hasn’t undergone any plastic surgery:
“Ask me again when I’m 65, but…I’m proud to be able to say, in this day and age, I haven’t done anything. Everyone has a view of what’s pretty and what’s not pretty, and [surgery] just doesn’t look pretty to me. Especially when I see it on really young girls. I don’t want to name names, but it’s like, Wow, I remember you five years ago, looking to me so beautiful, and now it’s like… who is this person? And I know girls half my age who do it. What are they gonna do at 40 or 50, when the s-h-i-t really hits the fan?”
Lookin’ good, Heidi:
this is some kind of spaceship or something.