Look, it’s not like we’re against fancy, expensive things here at Styleite — we actually really like them a lot! But there are some things the fashion industry creates that cost so much money they’re just damn ridiculous. Case in point: Hermés makes a plain T-shirt that costs more than you spend on groceries every month.
Hermés’ one-pocket t-shirt with an embroidered ‘H’ will set you back $345, and it’s really nothing special because it is a pocket T! Granted it’s woven in Italy from what is no doubt the world’s softest cotton, but that won’t stop you from marking it with unsightly pit stains. There are only a handful of reasons that could possibly justify spending this amount of money on a T-shirt — even if you’re the kind of person for whom $345 isn’t really that much money — and we’ve listed a few of them below.
1. The T-shirt is a tax write off. Alternatively, the t-shirt has an on-board accountant who can do your taxes.
2. A gunman is threatening to kill your mom if you don’t buy the shirt.
3. Proceeds from the shirt will feed a starving Moldovan child for five years.
4. Proceeds from the shirt will rescue no less than 7 abused puppies.
5. You’re actually clinically insane.
6. It comes with a free plane ticket to Miami.
7. It comes with a year’s supply of Omaha steaks.
8. It can cook the aforementioned steaks to medium well perfection.
9. The equation that explains cold fusion will be written on the receipt.
10. It knows who Carly Simon wrote You’re So Vain about and can’t wait to tell you.