Sometimes, we have to admit, we hate the internet. The Internet has no summer Fridays, no holidays, and no rest for our aching fingers. But the internet also has things like JustinBrescia.com and then we remind ourselves how awesome it is to do what we do. I now get to write an entire blog post on a website dedicated to The Hills‘ resident hairdresser-turned-biker, Justin Bobby.
The website, which was created in 2008 and looks like it hasn’t been updated since September 2009, is pretty barebones and calls itself The Un-Official Justin Bobby Fan Site. Well, if this is un-official, then we can tell you right now: we don’t want to be official.
The homepage gives you a lengthy rundown on everything there is to know about Justin “Justin Bobby” Brescia. Some examples:
Born: 1 January 1980, Las Vegas, NV
Dated: Audrina Patridge
Justin Brescia is the one guy that Audrina Patridge could never get over. Justin Brescia is handsome; he rides a Harley; he surfs; but most of all he’s mysterious, and you can never pin him down. The one thing Justin Brescia would never give Audrina is a real commitment. Maybe it’s because Justin Brescia knew Audrina was always pining for him, and he likes the game.
This is fun! The next tab over is the helpfully titled “Pics” section. This looks more or less like a Google Image search of Justin Bobby’s name, but if you’re into that sort of thing, you should check it out. The third tab includes a single interview Justin Bobby did with MTV. It is titled “Interview With MTV.” The fourth tab is called “Latest News” and appears to be just that, copy and pasted news items — but no links! shame! — from the period up to and including Fall 2009.
And if you’re wondering where this is going, bear with me, because the fifth tab is where it’s at.
Dress Like Justin.
What’s hilarious about this section is not only that it exists, not only the step-by-step process by which it details Justin Bobby’s style, but the fact that it’s not even an original post! It’s copied, apparently, straight from eHow.com. And the fact the eHow.com has a post detailing how to dress like Justin Bobby is just too much for our beleaguered brains to handle.
But in case your curiosity is piqued, the steps include:
- Be a T-Shirt and jeans kind of a guy.
- Embrace grunge fashion.
- Be military inspired. Try a black fitted military shirt with snap buttons. Roll up the sleeves a bit, and wear a pair of dog tags around your neck to make it pop.
And last but not least, the piece de resistance:
Invest in a stylish jacket. Justin has done modeling work and in one of his campaigns he was seen wearing a gray wool jacket. It had a wide collar and large black buttons. The look was very sophisticated, but he still wore it as he would anything else.
[via Tiyana Grulovic’s Twitter.]