Kate Upton Has Nothing To Say About Anything, Loves Assless Shorts

It’s the Friday evening of a holiday weekend, and things are slow. Molasses-level slow. As such, we’re going to update you on Kate Upton.

A lot of things about Kate make us sad — her burger sex commercial, the Jimmy Kimmel interview, that pathetic Met Gala story. So much sad. Today we have two new sad things to add to the list.

1. She played the “I have nothing to say about anything” card during an interview with the Daily Front Row.

What were your other haunts?
Every year at school, we went on a field trip to the Kennedy Space Center. I knew my way around there better than I knew my way around my school!


Did you ever want to be an astronaut?
No, I was there for the dried food.

AND!

Your uncle is the popular Congressman Fred Upton from Michigan.
Yes, he’s my dad’s brother, and they live three houses apart. Nobody looks at either one of us like celebrities, though. I only found out recently that he’s really powerful!


Do you talk politics?
I leave the politics to him. I did go to the White House Correspondents’ dinner, and it was a lot of fun. Obama was hilarious. I wouldn’t give the food an A+, but it was pretty good.

Also, this makes no sense:

Do you read?
Not on the beach. It’s too bright! You can’t see anything.

2. She likes assless jean shorts.


Sad.

 

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