Ever since we read that fascinating New York Times essay chronicling the making of Paul Schrader’s The Canyons — you know, the one where Lindsay Lohan sneaks off set to go partying until 6:00 AM then wins back the director’s affection by tapping into her personal traumas in a tragically post-meta strain of method acting — we’ve been dying to see the film.
Even more so now that we’ve seen the trailer. In just one minute and 15 seconds we get blaring dubstep, seizure-inducing lights, dilapidated buildings, sex scenes, domestic violence, James Deen in a metallic speedo, and Lindsay Lohan voiceovers so self-referential it hurts. “Okay tell me something. Do you really like movies?” Lohan’s character(?) Tara asks about two seconds in. “I don’t know, I guess, maybe it’s just not my thing anymore,” adding “I guess I’d like to keep some parts of my life private.”
Equally distressing is the constantly changing state of Lindsay Lohan’s face (specifically her upper lip), but we live in the hope it can serve as a warning to her contemporaries. Amanda Bynes, are you watching?
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