When Lorenzo Martone and Marc Jacobs parted ways, a little piece of us felt heartbroken ourselves. What happened? Who dumped whom? And more importantly, how on earth do you replace a love as Speedo-ready as theirs?
Enter the rebound. We’ve all used one, and many of us have been one. It’s the person that’s there to pick up the pieces after a break up. They let us cry on their shoulders, they help make our exes jealous, and they make us feel better — at least in the short term.
Usually the rebound is more successful than the dreaded ex, or at the very least, better looking. Which is why we were shocked — to say the least — to find out that Lorenzo and Lance Bass had been canoodling. No offense to Lance, but we think Lorenzo could do just a bit better than a washed up boy bander with frosted tips.
In a perfect world, we would have Lorenzo and Marc back together — announcing via Twitter that all things were resolved, accompanied by a TwitPic of couple was happily running along the beaches of St. Tropez. But instead, we’ll offer some more useful advice.
Here are five people we think would be better rebounds for Lorenzo.
1. Baptiste Giabiconi
If he’s good enough for Karl, he’s good enough for just about anyone. Having been a muse to The Kaiser, we have no doubt this young male model would tie Marc’s stomach in knots.
2. Tom Ford
Both Tom Ford and Marc Jacobs have the self confidence (or maybe the self obsession) to use themselves as models in ad campaigns for fragrance. We love Marc Jacobs, but if we were to compare the ads, Tom Ford wins in the hotness department.
3. Tim Gunn
We know he’s older — but we think that’s why it would work. Maybe Tim Gunn has something that Marc couldn’t give Lorenzo. And we’re not just talking about a dictionary’s worth of new vocabulary words. There’s something to be said for dating an older, wiser man.
4. Nicola Formichetti
Talk about someone who runs with the cool kids. Nicola Formichetti, Lady Gaga’s stylist, could be just what the doctor ordered. We have a feeling that hanging out in the graces of Gaga would be the perfect distraction from heartache.
Ok — we know his tweets are irritating. But that’s why we think he could be the perfect fit for Lorenzo. The ultimate rebound makes his or her presence known to the ex. And there’s no one else on Earth that spreads information faster than BryanBoy. He would ensure all photos/news/gossip of their relationship was posted on facebook/twitter/blogs. Thus, jealousy ensues.