Ask any woman in the world about her thoughts on high heels, and she’ll most likely tell you that yes, heels are painful, but they sure are pretty. Well, Jerry Saltz, an art critic and columnist for New York magazine, decided it was time to test just how painful heels could be at a recent stop at Sylvie Fleury’s Salon 94. His reaction perfectly encapsulates what we feel every time we slip our feet into our favorite pair, and it is amazing.
“My God. The misery began at once. I felt my feet take shapes they’d never had before. Squeezed, squished, pinned. I asked a woman if I could lean on her. I stood up. I have to say that, as a short man, I found it pretty amazing to be up this high. Nice view, I thought. As soon as the woman stepped away, the agony began. All my weight was on the front insides of the balls of my feet. As if a fire had been set inside my shoe! I could feel my skeleton screaming — shifting to compensate — and my sense of balance being thrown into high gear. I took a few steps onto the would-be Carl Andre sculpture. I couldn’t seem to walk without looking down. Sweat poured off my forehead as my body readjusted into an entirely new carriage. My ass seemed to turn into a shelf-thing; my knees locked; my lower back curved in a way it never had before; my pelvis thrust forward; and I grew moobs!
Now you know how we feel!