I mean, this is obviously a joke right? Right? The New York Post now has a content swap deal situation with The Onion? Clickbaiting Thought Catalog #struggle writers are seeping like discharge into possibly even worse corners of the internet? Why is the world’s fugliest necklace involved?
Making you think all of these questions and more is an awful opinion piece by bad writer and big sexual harassment fan Doree Lewak, who is presumably trying to be funny while lavishing praise on construction workers who compliment her “skimpy dresses with strategic cutouts” and “tightly molded pink tank top.” I’m trying really hard not to focus on her sartorial choices because there are obviously worse things happening on the streets — like, oh I don’t know, sexual harassment — so we’ll continue.
Doree waxes lyrically about her days as a 20-year-old MTV intern taking advantage of the company’s liberal summer dress policy, gushing over men who don’t hesitate to call it like they see it. It might be beautiful if it weren’t so, so stupid. She still feels like this as a 30-something woman:
Now, a decade later, I still get that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling whenever I walk past a construction stronghold. I’ve learned that it’s not what you wear — the skimpy sundresses, the sky-high heels — but how. Walking confidently past a mass of men, making eye contact and flashing a smile shows you as you are: self-possessed and playful. The wolf whistles that follow will send your ego soaring.
Or get your blood boiling, but each to their own. There’s also something about grunting and sachets of sauce:
…But the mystique and machismo of manly construction workers have always made my heart beat a little faster — and made my sashay a little saucier. It’s as primal as it gets, ladies! They either grunt in recognition or they go back to their coffee break. It’s not brain science — when a total stranger notices you, it’s validating.
Lewak then goes on to call out 28-year-old Minneapolis resident Lindsey the Cards Against Street Harassment lady, claiming that the online debate about catcalling being abuse (which isn’t re-he-he-heally a debate because catcalling is abuse) is “leading to a climate that oppresses women further.” Ok then.
But it’s not all boneheaded commentary — there are some helpful history lessons thrown in too:
I imagine the catcall stretches back to ancient construction times, when the Israelites were building the pyramids, with scores of single Jewish women hiking up their loincloths, hoping for a little attention.
There are also not enough palms for my face. I get that Lewak probably thinks she’s being hilarious, but if you don’t understand whut iz #satire, maybe don’t test the waters defending a prevalent human rights issue that isn’t just annoying but scary and often dangerous. I can imagine there are quite a few non-asshole construction workers pissed at being stereotyped as “primal grunters.” commence #notallconstructionworkers in 3, 2, 1…
The only thing right with this
article babbling mess of words is that it’s tagged as “Sexual Harassment,” because that’s exactly what catcalling is. Whether you possess enough brain function to recognize it as such or not.