Carrie Nation (hatchet and all) would be our ideal Porter woman. But (1) by Natalie Massenet’s standards, she’s kind of a stick in the mud and (2) by anyone’s standards, she’s kind of dead.
Since the dawn of its Instagram account, Net-a-Porter’s “fashion magazine for the stylish, intelligent woman of now” has been releasing teasers for its first issue out Feb. 7. Never ones to wait around for the actual surprise, we’ve started sniffing around, shaking boxes and going about this whole thing calmly and rationally. Here are five clues your friendly neighborhood super sleuths (that’s us) have collected so far plus one mind-blowing, we-knew-it-all-along-but-we-really-didn’t conclusion.
1. It’s a woman.
Sure, if you look at the picture only you might think that’s Jared Leto before his hommebré manifested itself completely. However, the “who is she?” part dispenses with that pipe dream quite neatly.
2. The PMCG is probably not Natalie Massenet.
That would be self-serving and weird like that one time we ended up with our own gift from a White Elephant exchange and our moms had no idea what to do with us.
3. She’s brunette.
All four have already pasted their faces onto a cover template from the #IAMPORTER app, so unless we’re being taken in by a few red herrings (it wouldn’t be the first time), we’re going to scratch their names off our list.
5. It’s Victoria Beckham.
Think about it — “fashion legend,” “global icon.” She’s never covered The Edit before, and she does have a close relationship with the e-tailer, including that exclusive capsule collection. Her name’s also listed under the “designers” tab, which is a mark of honor in itself.