That blingtastic Michelle Obama brooch from yesterday got us thinking. What kind of cool and/or ridiculous merchandise are the other presidential candidates selling?
A super scientific evaluation of each candidate’s gear shows Barack Obama winning in a landslide. The man is selling grill spatulas! And dog sweaters! And soy candles! We’re also pretty fond of the “Cup of Joe” coffee mug featuring Vice President Biden and the “I Bark for Barack” car magnet starring First Dog Bo. You can even get the First Family portrait on a button.
As far as the Republicans are concerned, Ron Paul certainly has the most varied (and worst designed) merch. He’s selling mousepads (which we didn’t know anyone still used), and also ties and shoes (though we can’t see what said footwear looks like exactly). His most exciting item, however, is clearly a variety of branded speakers that retail for the very specific price of $42.80 each.
In contrast, Newt Gingrich‘s most out-of-the-box campaign item is a pet bandana, which stands alone among the standard sweatshirts, bumper stickers, and baseball hats. Mitt Romney got a little more creative with baby onesies emblazoned with a sketched logo and a ceramic tumbler, though Rick Santorum‘s assortment is even staler than Gingrich’s. The one notable item is a “lapel sticker” that is really just a fancy name tag. He doesn’t even sell those sweater vests anymore!
That is all to say, merch advantage: Obama.
this is some kind of spaceship or something.