Project Runway Recap: Wait, Real Women Have Curves?!

Previously: the designers were split into two teams. One team created a coherent and exciting collection, and one team crashed and burned. Such is life.

This week: So, I was completely wrong about this week’s challenge in last week’s recap. The designers are still consulting with regular guys… about clothes for their wives and girlfriends. Heidi Klum lets the contestants each pick a guy before the actual challenge is revealed, so they all think it’s a menswear challenge and choose their dudes accordingly (they also say a couple of mildly offensive things about fat people, but that’s neither here nor there). They have half an hour to consult and sketch, and two days to complete the whole challenge.

The consulting sesh does not go well. The guys have a really hard time articulating what they’re looking for in their designs. Bert Keeter’s client is obsessed with his wife’s boobs, and Olivier Green’s client also wants a dress that accentuates his wife’s curves. Bert isn’t fazed by the challenge, but poor Olivier is a mess. He hates boobs, you see. Anthony Ryan Auld is designing a dress for his client that is reminiscent of one her husband lost in an airport. Aww!

During the design phase, the WAGs are brought in for fittings and many are pleasantly surprised by the designs (Laura Kathleen and Viktor Luna’s clients are particularly enthusiastic). Olivier, Bert and Joshua McKinley’s clients are the least satisfied. To make matters worse, Olivier has no idea how to deal with clients and is totally dismissive of their input. Also, Tim Gunn referred to this visit as a “fitting,” but I don’t see anyone trying anything on, and I do see a lot of naked dress forms. Uh oh.

The next time the WAGSs and their guys visit the workroom, most of the designers have made a bit more progress. Viktor’s dress and skirt are basically done, and Tim loves them both. Anya Ayoung Chee’s dress has a few construction issues, mainly due to her inexperience with sewing silk, and Bryce Black has chosen the ugliest color combination known to man for his dress — Barbie pink and dirty-laundry gray.

Runway day! Olivier and Kimberly Goldson have to be scolded by Tim before they stop working on their garments. Basically the models are walking down the hallway for the show and they are still pinning and tucking. This week, Malin Akerman is the guest judge. The ladies’ model walks are adorable. Heidi seems particularly delighted by Laura’s green dress and Kimberly’s top and skirt .

Kimberly, Olivier and Laura’s scores put them in the middle group. Bert, Bryce and Anthony Ryan have the lowest scores, but they’re sent outside first while the judges talk to Anya, Joshua and Viktor. Malin wants to wear Anya’s dress on the red carpet. It is gorgeous — it’s, like, an Afro-Asian kimono dress. It’s awesome. Joshua’s swishy black cocktail dress is praised for its minimalism, but I wonder if he is just being praised for the departure rather than the dress. I just think if, say, Viktor had designed it, it would have landed right in the middle. Viktor’s adorable skirt and top are praised for their balance and coherence, and the super cute model.

Bert’s client loves her dress and is confused about their spot in the bottom. The judges think it’s unimaginative and looks off the rack. Bryce’s look is dinged for the fit. (They do, however like the color; he scrapped the gray.) This is a super awkward judging session, since they’re also kind of judging the women’s taste and several times they end up defending the clothes.

Anya is in. Joshua wins, and doesn’t hesitate to remind us that this is his second challenge victory. Viktor is in. Bert is in, after he gets a lecture about being boring. It’s down to Anthony Ryan and Bryce, and I think we all know which way the wind is blowing. Bryce is let go, and he seems exhausted and kind of ready for it. “Who’s going to make my coffee?” Joshua jokes as he hugs him. He’s the worst.

Next Week: Another team challenge. Boooooo!

Quote of the Week: “I don’t like women having boobs.” Olivier Green, ladies and gentlemen.

Insult of the Week: “It was like he was trying to make a cocktail dress out of a Handiwipe.” Michael Kors on Bryce’s Pepto Bismol dress.

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