Rachel Zoe, Brad, and Rodger spent last night’s episode of The Rachel Zoe Project at New York Fashion Week, which was surprisingly calm and surprisingly drama-free. Naturally, they would like you to think that this a wonderful by-product of Taylor Jacobson’s absence and while we’ll always have a place in our hearts for Tay-Tay, we’re starting to believe them.
Rodger was there because his and Rachel’s wedding anniversary falls smack dab in the middle of Fashion Week, just like it has for the last 12 years, but god bless him for trying. As Rachel put it, “Most people got married in the summer. We got married in the winter.” And that, Rodger, is just the way the cookie crumbles.
The mood — and overall calm — of the episode was set by Oscar de la Renta‘s show, which might be the most smoothly run, chaos free fashion show we’ve ever seen. When you’ve been in business — successful business — as long as Oscar has, it makes sense that they would have the whole show thing down pat. But we also can’t help but picture Oscar as a Dominican-born, male version of Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly who, with the softest whisper, can put every model, stylist, photographer, and PR girl in her place.
The point of the show, as it were, is to dress people, and so Rachel and Brad spend their days on the hunt for the ever-elusive Academy Awards gown, the merest sighting of which can result in dizziness, shortness of breath, and the deadpan spouting of grammatically incorrect sentence fragments. And they don’t want just any old gown, they want a white gown, which, to Rachel’s credit, does have a wonderful track record of “shutting it down” on the red carpet.
While Rad (our newly coined and oh-so-awesome portmanteau for Rachel and Brad) stalk dresses, Rodger takes Rachel’s sister to Kiki de Montparnasse in the hopes of picking out an anniversary present for his wife. Naturally, this is incredibly awkward, both because his wife’s sister-in-law is with him while he uncomfortably strokes frilly, sheer pieces of barely-there fabric, but also because it feels like the latest campaign in this season’s undying effort to emphasize Rodger’s heterosexuality. We get it, he’s straight.
When Rachel and Rodger do finally exchange gifts, it’s awesome. One, because Rachel’s assistant gets them a DVD of their honeymoon in St. Barth’s in 1998; two, because Rachel buys Rodger a gift and then buys herself a gift on his behalf; three, because the daggers she shoots Rodger with her eyes upon realizing she has to open a gift box of lingerie in front of a room full of cameramen are terrifying; four, because Rodger also gets Rachel a customized Rachel Zoe Barbie.
The best part? The doll Rodger got Rachel was a pseudo-replica of one of two dolls Zoe styled for Mattel, all of which eventually were auctioned off for charity.
Interspersed through all this is a Michael Kors show, which Rad and Rodger miss due to traffic, and a Marc Jacobs show which they see. They also find out — and here’s the denoument, if you will — that due to a white stage, there will be no white gowns allowed at this year’s Oscars. Naturally, this is a catastrophe of epic proportions. Rachel deems it a fashion nightmare, while Brad succinctly moans, “This totally sucks.” But then they go to the Marchesa presentation and fall in love with a shimmery, silver, one-shoulder gown that either Cameron or Demi must wear. (And there you have what will likely become the crux of the next episode.)
The only thing more consistent this season than Zoe Inc.’s hatred of Taylor and Rodger’s heterosexuality, is the ominous beating of the baby drum. This time, it’s Rachel’s sister keeping time. And while we suppose we’re supposed to be rooting for a Rachel / Rodger baby, we kind of love how uninterested Rachel seems. Rachel loves her job, and she shouldn’t have to apologize for that. And if she wants a baby, she should have a baby, but not because her sister, her parents, or the rest of America says she should.
Also: how cute would it be if she named it Brad?
This post originally linked to a story on Jezebel which alleged that the doll Rodger gave Rachel was one she’d actually designed for herself. This was not true and we’ve updated the post accordingly.