The Brits are taking this whole royal wedding thing very seriously. (Admittedly, we are too.) And it is a distinctly British tradition to commemorate such an event with all kinds of awkward souvenirs. Coins, towels, plates and more have already been emblazoned with portraits of Prince William and Kate Middleton in anticipation of the April nuptials. But the latest piece of regal memorabilia is causing a bit of controversy, and has people asking: would you buy commemorative Crown Jewels Condoms?
Well, would you? The copy on the company’s website is fairly hilarious, so allow us to share. The condoms’ slogan? “Lie back and think of England.” Why? “Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion.” But what makes these condoms so special? “Combining the strength of a prince with the yielding sensitivity of a princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure.” You know, because they’re “lavishly lubed” and “regally ribbed.” Three “heritage love sheaths” will set you back £5 (about $8).
Apparently people think this is tacky and tasteless and hurtful (yes, hurtful). Maybe we’re totally wrong, but souvenir condoms don’t seem any more offensive than cheesy china — and they’re way funnier. We do have one problem with the royal prophylactics, however. As per the fine print: “Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are a novelty condom not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.” Now that’s just odd. And irresponsible.