In the future everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes. Then they’ll “design” a clothing line.
Ryan Seacrest may have held onto celebrity for much longer than his fair share, but according to The Hollywood Reporter, he’s still taking the road frequently traveled by those whose stars have crash-landed and burned in the Great Basin Desert.
Sort-of-but-not-really like Marc Anthony, the tenacious television personality has partnered with Randa Accessories on a collection of men’s suits, tuxedos, shirts, ties, belts, and tie bars that will hit the sales floors in more than 150 Macy’s stores this fall. To make dressing easier for men who can’t tell the difference between blue, black, gray, and brown, the range will also feature a numbering system based on Ol’ Peaches’ own closet-organization methodology.
Pas mal as far as these things go.
Because we’ve (1) acquired some expertise in this area and (2) decided to use our powers for good, we thought it only fair we put in our humble, unsolicited two cents. With a lot of other VIP business ventures, we’ve seen what happens when a public figure trying to make a buck surrounds herself with yes people. Just look what they did to poor, formerly sweet Miranda Kerr.
1. As a host better suited to interviewing Peter Dinklage than Taylor Swift, you’re extra mindful of pant breaks. Wouldn’t it be great if you could extend the same courtesy (i.e., tailoring) to your fellow vertically challenged man? Uniqlo that [expletive] up.
2. For the love of Byredo, do not, we beg of you, do a fragrance. Hair gel, on the other hand, is yours for the taking.
3. Ryan Seacrest Distinction? We get that you’re the kid who answers every question and turns his homework in two weeks early, but maybe consider a name that doesn’t reflect your eager-beaver persona quite so well.
4. When you roll out outerwear next year, it might be wise to forget your penchant for collarless leather jackets. Best leave those to the actual cool dads.
5. Ditto on the white V-necks.
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