Glamour shots might be all the rage if you’re looking to nail a bae on LinkedIn, but when you’re swimming with the strapping PYTs on Tinder not the lushest feather boa nor the gauziest of lighting will make strangers want to bone you.
Luckily for those without a least a dead fish to dangle in a profile pic, a “professional” service now exists in Brooklyn that’s devoted entirely to Tinder headshots. It’s really the next logical step in a world where horny dudes are enlisting the help of robots to save their swiping fingers from early arthritis.
According to the very entrepreneurial Craigslist post, “you’re doing your pimp game no favors with your out of focus selfies in the bathroom. Selfies make you look like you don’t have any friends.” Way harsh, Tai. Rather, “the key to success on Tinder is using a picture that speaks to your strengths and irresistible charm better than the most highly trained wingman. That’s how you’ll find Mrs. Right, or Mrs. Swipe Right.” Just try to hate on that hustle.
Clients include women, because the ad says so, and the totally legit-sounding testimonials on their website promise so many dates you’ll forget what your family looks like.
The service costs $50 for a headshot or $100 for three. Interestingly it’s you who has to convince them you’re not a serial killer by sending a link to your Facebook profile before hot footing it to a vague location in BedStuy. Just exercise the same caution when getting your headshots taken as you would when you meeting potential lovers — tell a friend where you’re going, have an escape plan, and consider a concealed weapon.
Sorry, All Those Guys Liking You on Tinder Are Actually Robots
Tinder’s Creepier Cousin 3nder Is Here to Make Threesomes Even More Awkward
New Dating App Clover Is Like Tinder for Gold Diggers