Simon Doonan Explains Why Sushi Is ‘The World’s Gayest Food’

If the title of Simon Doonan‘s new book Gay Men Don’t Get Fat offends you, it’s probably just because you haven’t made it past the cover yet.

RELATED: Simon Doonan Grew A Beard So People Wouldn’t Call Him ‘Madam’

“It’s a humor book,” Doonan told us with a barely perceptible eye roll yesterday over breakfast at Barneys, where in spite of penning humor books he still has time to be the Creative Ambassador at Large. And the book, when you get into it, is both a creative and humorous indictment of everyone’s relationship with food — man, woman, straight and gay alike. Doonan posits that there aren’t four food groups, there are only two: gay and straight — and the reason gay men don’t get fat is because they eat, well, gay food.

So what qualifies as gay food? Basically, sushi and macarons.

“Sushi may well be the gayest food on earth,” Doonan writes. “Sushi chefs are basically taking sloppy bits of fish and magically reworking them into exquisite bonbons. How Gay, right?”

Right — but Doonan doesn’t advocate eating nothing but the kind of tiny portions served up by chefs in chi chi restaurants all over the world (chefs who, Doonan pointed out, are by and large heterosexual men). Instead, he thinks you should have a balance of things.

“The simplest example is, if you order the Angus steak or meatloaf, then you need a little nelly salad to go with it,” he said.

And on that note, we’re going to find a little nelly salad to make up for the brisket sandwich and fries we had for dinner last night. If you want to buy Doonan’s book (and we advise you do), you’ll find it on Amazon.

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