Sochi 2014: The Best, Worst, and Most Patriotic of the Sochi Winter Olympics Uniforms

Forget the Lincoln Center — Sochi is where you want to glue your eyes to witness some truly outré fashion. We’ve already passed judgment on Team America’s uniforms designed by Ralph Lauren, who we’re pretty sure is just trolling us at this point, and proved that more is not always more — unless you’re talking about Tonga’s fabulous hyperreal paradise jackets. See below for more weird, wonderful and very patriotic Sochi Winter Olypmics team uniforms.

Austria
Pointy elf beanies!
austria

Australia
For a country that experiences approximately 500 sunny days a year, Australia really turned it out in the cold.
australia

Ireland
Oh no, this green has nothing going for it at all. We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’re just covered in a fine layer of mould.
ireland

Italy
Italy looks like the cool snowboarders you were always jealous of while you were learning how to snowplough turn on your first pair of straights.
italy

Great Britain
As far as Michelin Man jackets go, we love the contrasting burgundy trim (are these reversible?) But the hats are where the party’s at — fleece and ear flaps? So hot right now.
great-britain

Germany
Germany’s uniforms drew speculation for borrowing from the color palette of the international gay rights symbol. The German Olympic Sports Confederation quickly insisted that the uniforms were “not a protest,” but as fashion people, we love to speculate. Particularly when the alternative is that the jackets are just ugly for no beneficial reason.
germany

Greece
Forget the Smurf suits and look at Greece’s gloves — they’re rainbow too! And actual rainbow, not just vomit rainbow. Coincidence or a cry for LGBTQ rights?

greece

USA
Well at least one person feels thumbs-up about this.

usa

Japan
Oh no, Japan thought it was going to space :(
japan

Ukriane
You go with those snazzy prints, Ukraine.

ukraine

Tonga
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. Sorry Ukraine, this hyperreal tropical paradise just won the gold medal for fashion.
tonga

Bermuda
Did all the pants mysteriously disappear halfway across the Triangle?

bermuda

France
Where is the glam? Are those chinos? Can you all just start dressing like 1960s flight attendants again?

france

 

Related links:
Dear Ralph Lauren’s Olympic Uniforms, Do Less 
Your First look at Stella McCartney’s UK Olympic Uniforms
The Best and Worst Dressed of the Opening Ceremony 

© 2014 Styleite, LLC   |   About UsAdvertiseNewsletterJobsPrivacyUser AgreementDisclaimerContactArchives RSS

Dan Abrams, Founder