The City: A Mysterious Case Of Mistaken Identity

Let’s start with the truth: this episode was so uninspiring. I watched it last night, and then re-watched it idly while working this morning, and as I sit here and think of all the OMG DRAMZ points I want to bring up, I’ve got nothing.

What even happened? Whitney “Nice Girl” Port got some pretty nice reviews of her line, though Kelly “Best Advice Giver In The World” Cutrone told her that the bad ones are more important because you can learn from them. Whitney then held her press and market appointments and Kelly helpfully walked her through exactly what she was supposed to do. If you’ve ever wondered what happens in a market meeting, here you go:

“Basically, this is like clothes waitressing. So we have a menu, OK? And we’re gonna go through and show them what’s gonna look good for their publication. And you have to kinda, like, give them ideas. Like with Ladies Home Journal, the person that reads that magazine is a mom between the ages of 23 and 45 and lives in the middle of America. She’s probably not going anywhere in this. [Holds up what appears to be a pair of neon patterned shorts.]“

The most important thing to do, though, is that as soon as an editor touches something, Whitney should hold it up and away from her body. She remembers this part very well. Good for Whitney.

Anyway, the point of this segment is for Kelly to look at the RSVP list and see that no one from Elle (gasp!) is attending. This is a travesty and also, well, strange, because half the people that work at Elle are on this show and I get the whole suspension of disbelief thing but I really feel strongly that if MTV could just once, maybe even twice, acknowledge that we’re all not idiots and are well aware that this is only nominally fiction, I’d feel a lot better about the fact that my DVR dedicates a full 50% of its capacity to recording the network’s programming. But maybe that’s just me.

So, naturally, Kelly has Whitney’s not-at-all-trusty sidekick Roxy call Olivia because, you know, that’s the one contact they have at Elle and Olivia does her villainous best to be, well, a total bitch. Except here’s the thing: Roxy claims that she sent the fashion people at Elle an email weeks ago and she never heard back, which is why she’s calling Olivia, the fake-accessories-editor-turned-fake-internet-reporter, an hour before the appointment and asking her to show up. This is ridiculous. Roxy, if she was actually doing her fake-job, should have sent at least another follow-up email, and then called, all of which should have happened days in advance, so, unfortunately, Olivia has a point — though I have a hunch she didn’t really know she was making one.

Olivia shows up, flopsy-handedly browses the clothes and talks pointedly about how she’s interviewing lots of new and upcoming designers. (Hands up if you smiled gleefully when Whitney, all innocent and wide-eyed and blonde, says to Livsy, “So you’re like a little journalist! That’s so cool.”) Whitney stares expectantly and Kelly does her publicist job and says, point blank: “You should do Whitney.” Livs either doesn’t respond or MTV expertly edits it to look like she doesn’t respond and there you have it: dramz.

NEXT: Roxy’s very own storyline and the mysterious case of mistaken identity on which the very hinges of this episode rest…

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