Of all the Toddlers & Tiaras contestants we’ve seen (and we’ve seen a lot), 6-year-old Alana is easily the most terrifying.
Her mom June is some sort of Extreme Couponing/Hoarders hybrid monster, while Alana herself is all “a dolla makes me holla, honey boo-boo!” Also, did you know pixie sticks are pageant crack?! Alana prefers “special juice” (which we assume is Mountain Dew laced with actual crack) to pixie sticks. Her secret weapon involves grabbing her tummy. And for what it’s worth, the girl certainly doesn’t lack confidence — just check out her closing line: