Vogue’s Gift Guide Features An $880 Potato Peeler

Oh, Vogue, you’re so funny! Your Holiday Gift Guide — curated, of course, by the lovely and genius Candy Pratts Price — is such a wonderfully satirical take on the luxury industry in the midst of a terrifyingly unstable economy. We’ve always taken you for more of the straight-laced type, but since you included an $880 potato peeler, we knew you just had to be joking! Good one!

Because the $880 potato peeler is a joke, right? A joke specific to and for rich people! Like the kind we’d hear on Blaire make on Gossip Girl, or something. “I hope you enjoy your $880 potato peeler! Ha! Ha! It’s funny because you don’t actually peel your own potatoes! Do tell [insert name of Eastern European / South American cook here] I say hello and I’m so looking forward to her holiday roast! Kisses!”

Such a good joke, Vogue! You really know how to make us laugh. An $880 potato peeler. Ha! Ha! But just when we thought we couldn’t laugh any harder, we saw the funny joke you made with the cheapest gift in the guide. $9 soap on a rope! That’s another joke for rich people, right? Like, “Enjoy jail, you ponzi schemer, you! We’ll save you a spot on next year’s [insert name of charity] board! It’ll be perfect for rehabbing your image.”

Such a witty sense of humor! That must be why you included a pair of $9,050 crocodile boots and a $36,580 crocodile purse on the same list with a $35 bottle of “Snow Leopard Vodka”, right? We’re not rich, but even we get that joke! And that’s how you know you’re funny, Vogue! It’s when poor people get your jokes, too.

But while we’re here, there’s just one joke we couldn’t get, and you kept making it! Over and over and over again. We counted, and we think you made it eleven times, so it must be funny! It’s the one about the gifts that have no price. You know, where it just says in eloquent italics, “Price Upon Request.” Is it funny because they’re free?

Sorry for not getting your joke, Vogue! We really wanted to, too. And the rest of them were so funny! We can’t wait for next year’s guide. Fingers crossed for a pair of $7,000 disposable rubber gloves. LOL!

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