We recently ran the story of a Christian woman who regretted saving herself for marriage, but that was what she learned in her church. It’s the sort of story that has grown in popularity from a female’s perspective, but a new study examined a subset of the population less on your radar: the men who waited for marriage.
University of Washington researchers talked to 15 evangelical Christian men before marriage when they were in support groups. Now that they’re married and sex isn’t “beastly” anymore, they don’t have anyone to talk to about sex. (Evidently this particular church is all about support groups when you’re pre-marital and in danger of yanking your way straight to hell via porn, but once you get hitched, the church instructs you to keep sex talk to yourselves so bros are on their own.)
Right or wrong, male virgins are branded as losers who can’t get any, but now that they can on the regular, they’re afraid to talk about it with their wifeys. One man said:
For me to come home from work and say, Hey, did you like it last time?’ I mean that would be that would be such a weird question for me to ask.
Oh it gets worse. Another man said:
Before you get married the biggest thing you struggle with, usually, is premarital sex, but once you are married, you can’t be tempted by that anymore, so you get attacked by completely different things. Essentially Satan has to find a new angle to attack on.
Unfortunately, we can’t rescue that guy from Satan attacks, but for the rest of you, it wouldn’t be weird to ask your wife how it was. It would be the opposite of weird. What’s weird is that she has to suffer through your knee digging into her rib while you scream “I’m an American Eagle” through tears. Asking her what she likes would be healthy. Her asking you what you like would be healthy. You should do it. Just make sure you ask really really loud at church.
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