If you need to look like Jennifer Lawrence but your face just won’t cooperate, you can pay a plastic surgeon.
Toby Sheldon, Kitty Jay, Venus D’lite and Adam Barta joined forces to produce a horrendous music video called “The Plastics” to get you over to their side, and it’s terrifying.
The insanity enablers sing about the benefits of their plastic parts to anyone who will listen. Sheldon sings about how he underwent major surgery ($100,000 worth) to look like Justin Bieber when he started aging. Kitty Jay, the most natural-looking of the band, sings about her silicon breasts, sculpted cheeks and sculpted nose. She went under the knife to try to look like Jennifer Lawrence. Venus had her butt done, and is going for a Madonna look. (A surgeon can’t actually make you steal someone’s identity physically, so there’s bone structure and genetic things at work.)
They sing, “if you want to be us, let our docs work their magic.” They’re arguing that the haters would all like to have a perfect smile, abs and body. They’re just the ones brave enough to sing it to the public. While I admit those things would be nice, there’s a distinction between that and reconstructing your face to look like a teenage pop idol. A huge one.
They roll through Persky Sunder Plastic Surgery with Michael A. Persky M.D.’s name on the door smiling million-watt smiles. The video demystifies the process with syringes and anesthesia, but the happy Venga Boys-like beat is misguided. They’re clearly infected by celebrity culture so much so that they would broadcast the thousands they’ve spent on altering everything about themselves. It’s grotesque. That’s just the way they like it. They’ve made their identities indiscernible in a permanent way, and it’s truly sad.
The “official music video” raises the question: If it makes them feel good, who cares? People who want a better self-image could turn to other things like an app for a $1 that makes you look skinner, but that’s not enough for these brainwashed people. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel compassion for them. Naturally Venus didn’t have the biological look she was comfortable with, but this is beyond excessive.
Plastic surgery is a personal choice and just as people don’t have to tell you they got it, they’re free to tell you and become a YouTube phenomenon. It seems like they’re all having a hilarious time. So is the surgeon. Of course he is. A bunch of Perez Hilton readers are probably bankrolling his yacht. They’re excited for each other, or whoever they’ve become. But Sheldon and Kitty looked so much better in their before pictures.
They start the song with, “are you one of the boring people who don’t want to be beautiful? Because everyone can be beautiful when you’re made of plastic.” They don’t care about the critics, which is obvious. People close to them must have tried to make them stop erasing themselves after the first 500 injections. But it’s truly bizarre that this is something they want to celebrate. Also, approximately a thousand of those YouTube views are mine. Catchy tune.