Woman Forgets a Vibrator Is Inside of Her for 10 Years, Massively F*cks Up Her Insides

vibrator

File under: omfg; don’t try new things while drunk; actually just don’t have drunk sex ever; and things we never want to end up in a medical journal for.

A woman in Scotland innocently went to the hospital complaining of severe weight loss, shaking, lethargy, and mild incontinence. Surgeons discovered that the cause of her symptoms was a FIVE INCH LONG VIBRATOR THAT HAD BEEN LODGED INSIDE OF HER and was pressing against her bladder. Oh, are you under the impression that that’s the worst of it? Because it’s not. Upon further questioning the woman, surgeons learned that the sexual encounter in which she had used the vibrator occurred TEN YEARS AGO while she was DRUNK, and she couldn’t remember whether she had taken it out.

A few things here: look, we all do weird shit when we’re drunk. We have one night stands with Republicans; we put our keys in the freezer; we lose track of that used condom and then discover it a day later when it comes out of our dog. But like, losing a five-inch object you insert inside yourself that you paid for and which contains a battery inside of it isn’t disconcerting the next day? The next month? At any point in the next ten years when you maybe move or rearrange your furniture and never find it under the bed?

But hey. No judgment. We’re here to educate.

So, some of the things that can happen to you when you accidentally leave a vibrator inside of you for ten years (as evidenced by this woman’s case) are: developing a
“‘vesicovaginal fistula’ — an abnormal tract which allows urine to flow into the vagina,” developing an “obstructive uropathy, where a blockage in the bladder causes urine to back up into the kidneys,” and, of course, the weight loss and lethargy she came in with. Read: the foreign object lodged in your vagina diet is not a diet you should go on.

Luckily, doctors were able to repair the damage, but they felt the need to stress two things about the woman in the study:

1. “The woman had a normal IQ, no signs of depression or psychosis and had not been subject to any abuse, according to the case report.”

2. “One doctor at the hospital, who was not willing to comment on the patient’s specific case, confirmed it was highly unusual for such a large foreign object to go unnoticed in the majority of instances – by patients or their partners.”

This is because the vagina is full of nerve endings and is extremely sensitive, he says.

So like, next time your vagina is having extra sensitive feelings, maybe you should hear her out. Because it’s likely she’s just crying for help since your drunken idiocy lead to an invasive foreign object poking your bladder for ten years.

[The Daily Mail h/t Gawker]

Related links:

Kid Rock Has Insane Clown Posse’s Glass Dildo, According to Subpoena
The Creator of Bad Dragon Dildos on Our Werewolf Obsession, Game of Thrones, and the Erotic Fantasy Community (NSFW)
Today in Wacky Sex Toys: The Vibrator That Takes a Video of Your Vagina

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