NYC Bedbugs Go Mass Market, Hit Macy’s And Bloomies
New York’s now-famous retail act, The Bedbugs, have decided that specialty stores like Nike, Victoria’s Secret, Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch were too small time. In order to bring their message of intense creepy-crawliness to the world, the bugs have started making appearances at Macy’s and Bloomingdale’s.
Racked reports that the little critters burrowed their way into the Macy’s corporate offices on 34th Street, but none have been found in the store. The offices were promptly shut down. The Bloomingdale’s flagship on 59th Street says it’s seen exactly one of the little critters, but has determined that the problem is not widespread. Unlike every other storefront the insects have infiltrated, Bloomingdale’s has kept its doors open.
“We took immediate action, and it was assessed that the issue was not widespread,” spokeswoman Marissa Vitagliamo told The New York Post.
Yeah, right. Guess where we won’t be doing our Christmas shopping?
An inside source at Bloomgindale’s says that the store’s management is as internally delusional about the issue as its public relations people. Nobody in the corporate office is talking about the bugs, but people are pretty concerned about how this might impact business.
And rightly so — science and common sense have proven time and time again that where there’s one bedbug, there are probably a whole lot more to be found. Bloomingdale’s is a gigantic store, and with as many soft surfaces and, well, clothes as there are for the bedbugs to get nestled into, we wouldn’t be at all surprised if there were a couple more bugs running around in there.
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