Uncle Sam To Auction Off Taxidermy Treasure Trove

by Megan Baldwin | 11:16 am, May 26th, 2010

Looking to lend a little authenticity to your J. Brand Houlihans and surplus jacket? Forget the Arturo Fuente (Hemingway‘s cigar of choice) and 5-barrel shot gun, and break out your bidding paddles because word is Uncle Sam has got a garage full of tiger heads he’s dying to get rid of.

Yes, like your dreams of bartering with the grizzly trader on the Oregon Trail come to life, the Wall Street Journal is reporting that the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is in the midst of a large-scale auction of nearly 300,000 confiscated goodies ranging from fur coats made from Siberian weasel to table lamps made of clam shells, including drums covered with unspecified mammal skin, watches festooned with mother-of-pearl and a curious collection of clay dwarfs decorated with bits of python skin. All of it sounds pretty classy — especially the dwarves. But for an aspirant Dundee, the haul could be epic — python boots and ostrich belts and kangaroo shoes, oh my!

But unfortunately if you’re in the market for a handbag made from a whole toad — tanned and shellacked — or belt made from the spotted fur of a South American jungle cat (head, whiskers and all) you’ll have to look elsewhere because the agency says they draw the line at crass.