Judith Leiber Does Ms. Havisham Proud With Blingy Birdcage
Can’t stomach spending 5K on on surplus button down? Well, how about dropping it on, say, a bejeweled birdcage bag? We kid you not.
Leave it to Judith Lieber – auteur of all things overly ornate, crystal encrusted and Tic-Tac sized — to completely bling out a birdcage and try to pass it off as a legitimate, not to mention expensive, accessory. Of course, the good folks over at Net-a-Porter tried to play down the fact that this might just be the best batty old-lady accessory we’ve ever set eyes on by pairing it with a demure Chloe dress and Choos. But come on, who else besides the ever bat-tastic Ms. Havisham would consider this pricey bauble? So save the Chloe— we think this crazy old lady “It Bag” just begs for some painted on red-lipstick, a heady dose of perfume, and the requisite chicka boom, chicka boom boom.
Here’s how we’d style it:
Nars Lipstick in Red-Orange Matte: All the better if it’s smeared on like only a kindergardener or geriatric could do. Extra points if it makes it onto the front teeth.
Half a bottle of Diorissimo Perfume by Christian Dior Woman: Nothing says washed up grande dame quite like the overly floral notes of this classic perfume. Think scent of old lady mixed with just the right amount of mothballs.
We would have preferred a gnarled black veil, but we think this hot-pink Philip Treacy bow headpiece works as a passable substitute for an aspirant Havisham. Really brings out the bird in the birdcage, no? We think it would look sublime worn over a white, matted mane.
Full disclosure, the traditionalist in us sort of loves Lanvin’s ostrich feather trimmed gown. In fact it almost makes us want to get stood up in the alter just so we could spent the rest of our adult life chain smoking cigarettes, drinking bourbon, and wearing this stunning frock. Naturally, we’d pair it with piles and piles of tarnished gold jewelry and a full length fur.
Finally, to anchor the look…one gilded shoe.
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