Anyone who has ever gazed over a style handbook knows that the easiest way to amp up an outfit is to accessorize. Throw a chunky necklace with a pair of straight-leg jeans and a white v-neck and you’re good to go. Add a chandelier earring, a colorful scarf, maybe even an interesting shoe to a boring outfit and you can call it a day.
Accessorizing can lead to two things: the danger of overdoing it and the risk of dressing in costume. Dressing in costume occurs when one of your accessories begs for another item in its genre. Say you decide to wear a cowboy hat to the beach. This does not entitle you to speak with a Western twang, or tell someone who accidentally brushes sand in your face to draw your pistol and ask them to “put up their dukes.”
However, every now and then you come across an article of clothing that you wish would come along with an extra, matching something; a two-in-one deal of sorts…these are their stories.
I wish my riding boots came with a horse. Every time I put on my distressed brown Jeffrey Campbell pair, there’s a solid five minute period of time where I imagine myself completely decked out in Ralph Lauren Collection, fully equipped with khaki chaps, a navy blazer, an orange Hermes saddle, and top of the line crop. The only thing I need is a horse, and my equestrian dreams would be complete.
I wish my ornate headband came with two roundtrip tickets to London and a reservation at The Ritz’s Palm Court for high tea. Do you ever feel like you’re embodying Blaire Waldorf’s body every time you put on a headband, wear something with a bow, or opt for a lace Wolford tight? It’s difficult not to get completely drawn into this WASPy Upper East Side look, but unless your headband is coming with Blaire’s life, I recommend you stick to one bubble gum girly accessory at a time.
I wish my Stella McCartney sneakers came with a gym membership and a personal trainer. Whenever I pass the Adidas store, a new life flashes before my eyes: I see myself in black spandex shorts, some sort of elaborate crisscross tank top, and of course, a pristine pair of white or gray Stella McCartney sneakers. I’d carry a yoga mat. I’d look incredibly chic, sweating — nay glowing lightly, with perfectly blushed cheeks as I left the gym, picking up a Wasa cracker and organic peanut butter on my way home. And, of course, said personal trainer would be unbelievably good-looking, someone who resembles, say…Baptiste Giabiconi.
I wish my Louboutins, or any other pricey heel, came with a cobbler. If only the purchase of a red sole meant 24-hour access to your own personal cobbler, at your beck and call to repaint the sole of your shoe, fix a torn heel, or repair rain-ruined leather. For those of you who spend an inordinate amount of money on what you put on their feet, it’s only fair that a cobbler would come free of charge.
I wish Essie’s Sole Mate came with a Soul Mate. Come clean. How many times have you determined which color to get on your nails based on the polish’s witty name? “Fit Me On The Jitney” should come with a house in the Hamptons, “Blush Bride” should come with a marriage proposal, and appropriately, “Sole Mate” should come with a gorgeous, brand new boyfriend.
Just like a travel tooth brush begs for a mini toothpaste, it simply makes sense for things to come with their counterparts. And even if it doesn’t make sense per se, we have no issue with dreaming as though it did.
Photo of Frye Dorada Riding Boots, courtesy of zappos.com.
Photo of Essie Sole Mat, courtesy of Essie.com